Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review

I used to really be into Star Wars.  I read books, comics, played the video games, wore Star Wars clothes, and even had a few toys but I took them out of the box.  I would even spend hours reading Wookieepedia entries to fill in the blanks I had in the lore.  Yeah, there are A LOT of Star Wars fans more hardcore than me, but I was probably nerding out above "average person who likes Star Wars".

Once you start to learn a lot about a fictional universe however, you start to find every little flaw, most of which was introduced in the Prequels or the now defunct Expanded Universe.  Like, the ability to use The Force is apparently genetic yet the Jedi Order bans Jedi from having children, or the Galactic Senate being simultaneously powerless and way too powerful.  Jar Jar brings the motion to give Palpatine "emergency dictatorial powers" and all the other senators agree without any questions asked.  Also, every important event in the entire galaxy happens around a small number of people. The Jedi tree from Qui Gon Jinn practically responsible for everything.  Even the technology in this universe is ludicrously overpowered.  Fans have calculated that a single blast from a Star Destroyer has 70 Terajoules of energy.  Why even bother with a Death Star? An orbital bombing from just a half dozen of these things should leave any planet a wasteland.

Of course, the shield generators are easy targets.  Hasn't the Empire seen a video game boss weak point before?

Star Wars got too big for it's own good.  All this expanded lore was introduced into a franchise that started as a homage to Buck Rodgers, other serialized pulp Sci-Fi, westerns, and samurai films.  Star Wars is a mish-mash of a lot of dumb silly fun that just blew up into a garbage fire of dumb silly nonsense.   

So I was hesitant to buy into the immense hype for Star Wars: The Force Awakens completely.  86'ing the Expanded Universe post Return of the Jedi was a good move, but the Prequels remained.  How much of the superfluous crap would remain and how much would this movie return Star Wars to it's roots.  

Luckily, my fears were unfounded.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens is almost more of a remake of A New Hope rather than a sequel.  Some people may be disappointed by this, but I really, really liked the movie because of this.  

The Empire regroups after Return of the Jedi and is renamed The First Order.  A New Republic is also established which supports a Resistance against The First Order.  How much of the Galaxy is controlled by what faction is never explored but it wasn't really necessary.  Luke Skywalker is missing and everybody and their mother is looking for him.  BB-8, the little soccer ball droid, is carrying part of a map to him and acts as the maguffin for the movies plot.  

If this sounds exactly like the plot to A New Hope, it is.  Empire/First Order, Rebels/Resistance, R2-D2 carrying Death Star schematics/BB-8 carrying a map.  There is even MORE likenesses to A New Hope that I can't get into because of spoilers (See spoiler section below).  While the movie can be criticized for not taking any chances and not introducing anything really new, I appreciate the move back to Star Wars' roots.  Yeah, I would have liked a different plot, but I didn't mind the recycled aspects THAT much.  

First Order/Nazi Germany

The reboot feel is more pronounced with the 8 gajillion callbacks in this movie.  There are so many they ALMOST got distracting but luckily the callbacks are....get this, actually relevant to the plot, unlike Jurassic World that treated it's callbacks like blatant fan service and nothing else.  Old characters are given more to do than just be extended cameos.  Harrison Ford does a really good job with old Han, granted, he could probably play Han Solo and Indiana Jones in his sleep.  Han doesn't change much other than having a little "I'm too old for this shit" feel to him.  Carrie Fisher plays a battle-hardened Leia who is no longer the plucky princess of yesteryear.  She means business while also seeming a little tired of these endless wars.  It's a good change.  

One thing the Prequels did poorly was establish new characters with depth and personality.  Poor dialogue was largely to blame for this but this movie's new characters are fantastic with solid dialogue.  

Rey takes on the new young Luke role and is a really well done character.  She's a firecracker with a well established personality.  She doesn't need much expository dialogue as aspects of her personality is shown rather than having characters tell us who she is like the audience is stupid.  Much of the movies plot just happens to her, so her depth isn't explored all that much, but that depth IS hinted at.  For the first movie in a planned trilogy, this is okay and I look forward to learning more about her character.  I'd argue she's already a better lead than Luke was since Luke was sorta characterized as a dumbass teenager in the first movie.  Rey isn't a bright eyed idiot and is established as a character who can get shit done on her own immediately.  She isn't dependent on others as much as Luke was in A New Hope.

Finn is a ex-stormtrooper who is something of a cowardly lion type who just wants to run away from the fighting.  He's got a solid arc and his interactions with Rey are fun.  He too isn't explored too much in depth but there is time to do so in future movies.  Plus, a black man and a woman in the two lead roles is the best for Internet bigots.

....Nice one Abrams.   (Trust me, not a spoiler).

Meanwhile, Poe is fine even if he's underdeveloped.  He's the best pilot in the Resistance and the likely lead in Star Wars: Rogue One.  He's a bit of a Han Solo type but without the edge.  Poe also has a scene that acts as an explanation for a scene that happens to Rey later, while ALSO being a plot point.  It's the type of scene many moviemakers would have cut so I'm glad it stayed in.  

Rylo Ken is a solid villain and a HUGE departure from how the Sith are typically characterized as.  The Sith usually have stone cold emotions, they're super confident, and basically demi-gods.  Rylo Ken is prone to temper tantrums, has shaky confidence, and is pre demi-god.  He's strong and menacing while also being vulnerable.  It helps level the playing field for Rey and Finn.  His motivations are...a bit glossed over as typical Dark Side stuff, but it's at least more than "he's evil", so I'll count this as a win.

The mask is mostly for show.

The movie also fixes a major flaw of the prequels by not overusing CGI.  BB-8 looks real.  A lot of the environments look like they were based on actual models and don't have that video game shine.  Stormtrooper armor isn't always pristine and show signs of wear and tear.  They, god forbid, get dirty in the desert!  What a concept!  

The few changes the movie does make to the universe are solid.  Tie fighters are shown to have copilots, which takes advantage of the whole 360 vision these fighters are designed to look like they have.  Both the First Order and the Resistance both have female pilots and soldiers, so the female cast isn't mostly prostitute.  Actually, the best changes are to the Stormtroopers themselves.  They are actually competent.  Some of them actually hit the targets they are shooting at!  They have even developed countermeasures from getting their asses kicked from dudes with laser swords and from teddy bears with goddamn rocks.

Even the mask re-design is badass

However, there is one production issue I have with the movie.  Just like with Avengers: Age of Ultron, this movie is super fast paced and edited at light speed.  Again, the pacing of the movie is difficult to pin down.  The time frame of the events of the movie make it seem like everything happened in a week, or even just a few days, but that wouldn't make sense to the plot.  It's a minor gripe but it's becoming an epidemic in Disney franchises.  You can slow down portions of the plot without the audience getting bored guys.  Come on.

All in all though, I really liked the movie.  I hesitate to call it great though mostly due to the recycled plot.  However, this movie was exactly what the Star Wars franchise needed in their movies after all the bullshit.  It was a return to what makes Star Wars great even if it didn't take any chances.  Almost the opposite of what many sequels and reboots are, this movie has all the heart and soul, but not enough brains.

That being said, when episode VIII rolls around, I may just buy into the hype this time.

SPOILER SECTION BELOW.

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Disclaimer: All pictures used are within Fair Use for review purposes.  

Beyond Good and Evil HD Review

Every time I play a cult classic, I can't help myself from purposely seeking out what makes the game special.  The last cult classic game I've played, which is debateably the cult-iest classic-ist game ever, is Deadly Premonition.  While I didn't really like the game all that much due to its wonky combat, bizarre difficulty (either way too easy to way too hard), the worst map in video game history, and one of the longest, dumbest mandatory sequences I have ever seen (the dog chase)...I still GOT it.  No really, I GET the appeal of Deadly Premonition.  Some of the more nuanced parts were so good/weird that I couldn't help but sort of enjoy the game while also hating it.  It's just one of those games that you have to experience for yourself to understand.

Beyond Good and Evil however, I didn't get.  Or, at least, whatever makes this game so popular seems contradictory to the reasons this game is praised.

In BGE, you take control of a woman named Jade, who is a photojournalist/martial arts expert/orphanage manager.  She lives in the town of Hillys which is periodically bombarded by bug like aliens called Domz raining down from a portal in the sky.  Also, there is a paramilitary group called the Alpha Sections who claim to be Hillys' only line of defense from the Domz and from people going missing.  Yet another faction called the Iris Network claims the Alpha Sections is responsible for kidnapping people and are secretly working with the Domz.

Not sure if these are Domz.  The game is vague.

If this all sounds like it could make an interesting plot, it doesn't.  Very early in the game, Jade joins the Iris Network and goes on photojournalism missions to prove the connection of the Domz to the Alpha Sections, which are then published for the citizens of Hillys too see.  The game leaves no ambiguity here when some would have been much appreciated.  Almost immediately, the game tells you right out that the Alpha Sections are bad guys after trying to hide it for, like, the first hour.  Why even bother?

As for Jade herself, she is a badass, but has emotions when bad things happen and ugh....Okay.  She lacks any real personality. Her characterization is basically, "Good person who fights evil and has emotions and stuff." This is basically the very same protagonist in any action game ever, although the better ones try to provide some depth.  Jade doesn't have much.  Why is she sheltering orphans?  Just cause she's the protagonist?  This is bare bones characterization.

Her design is cool as fuck though.  Her look is better than her writing.  

The secondary characters are arguably worse.  Pey'j, her "uncle", is a man-pig (this planet has humanoid animals as well) who is basically a rough and tumble mechanic/engineer who is secretly the leader of the Iris Network and I don't even care if that is a spoiler because it was obvious when a game has only 3 story critical characters.  Although, I will admit to smiling when he uses his jet boots and screams "chili con carne".  I love the rare B-movie parts to this game.

The other major secondary character is HH (he's referred to as double H in voice over), who is a noble knight type who provides the muscle of the group.  He's also really into a hero guide book that he has memorized and quotes constantly.  And...that's it.  We know NOTHING about his motivations.  I have no idea why he is working with Jade.  He's just another good guy because, why not I guess?  Also, his name is stupid.

He's so loyal....for NO REASON.

Even the ending to the game is full of WTF.  I don't even care if this is yet another spoiler because Jade can apparently magically heal people for NO REASON, and she floats in the sky and saves a bunch of kids MAYBE  or she steals their souls or some shit then credits.  What?  WHY?!?

With a plot that has no good surprises (I don't count the ending) and characters that are cardboard cutouts, the gameplay takes place in a pseudo-open world.  Areas are blocked off until the game lets you earn enough Pearls (a currency for your hovercraft) to upgrade your gear so you can reach a new area.  The Pearls are earned in main quests as well as side quests.  The side quests mostly consist of hovercraft racing, taking pictures of animals, catching bandits in tunnels, and the "Fallout Side Quest" of going into a monster filled den and killing everything.  They're pretty dumb, but for the age of the game, I'll give them a pass.

The gameplay itself is pretty pedestrian all across the board.  The game starts with hack n' slash mechanics where one button does every attack, one button dodges the heavily telegraphed enemy attacks, and...nothing else.  It's not so bad as much as it feels unfinished.  Although I must complement the animation of linking attacks from one enemy to another.  It's very slick and seamless.  It seems like an early Assassins Creed combat system.

Not sure what the fire is but yeah.  Hitting aliens with sticks.

The driving (and later, flying) sections are okay.  It's pretty average and feels like a typical GTA game of the time.  There isn't much to say here as I HATE "realistic" racing games so my bias says this arguably bland driving system is whatever.

It's functional.

Most of the main story missions though are heavily based on stealth sections, sometimes mixed up with the hack n' slash sections and OK.  I'M NOT GOING TO DO WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS I'M GOING TO DO....the stealth sections are fine.  I mean, they're average, but fine.  It is a bit jarring to go from the best stealth game of all time in MGSV to....THIS, but it's fine.  The stealth sections are mediocre due to really predictable guard AI and the inability to toggle crouch.....

BY THE FUCKING WAY.

Really?  I have to hold down the crouch button?  Please, just steal the idea from MGS (and you can't "old game" excuse this.  MGS ONE let you toggle crouch).  I beg you.  Why not at least have the option to toggle crouch?  I couldn't accept this fact and continuously checked the options menu hoping in vain that it would magically have the option to toggle crouch.  I think I have permanent damage in my left hand from holding down the same button for over 30 minutes straight.

Jade is ninja.  Silent like shadow, invisible like footsteps....wait.

So, what's the deal with this game?

Everything is so mediocre.  The characters are stereotypical archetypes.  The story is bland and has no surprises except that WTF nonsense ending.  The gameplay tries every sort of mechanic ever and therefore doesn't do any single one of them great.  It's all just average.  Everything you get is okay but seemingly unfinished for its time; gameplay, story, characters, and presentation are all "meh".  The graphics are a bit cartoony but not entirely.  Everything seems to be clinging to childhood while also introducing adult themes.  It's so goddamn mediocre it's infuriating.  Like, this game is a child friendly GTA or this games' fans are all nostalgia fucking this game because - OH MY GOD......

....oh.

I am NOT the target audience for this game.  This game seems like a step up from the super kid friendly titles of Mario, Zelda, Spyro, BanjoKazooie, and the like in difficulty, while also being training for more adult titles like GTA and MGS at the time.  This game isn't designed for me.....and that's why I don't get it.

I GET this game though.

This game is a cult classic because some people played this in the 8-15 age range and it became a stepping stone to more adult games.  I can appreciate that.  It's not for me but I regret what I said earlier.  I get this game now....I guess.

....That cliffhanger epilogue is bullshit though.

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