X-Men: Apocalypse Review (Spoilers).

I wasn't going to write about this movie but I'm surprised to see a lot of "It wasn't THAT bad" opinions going on.  May I present, a dissenting opinion.

IT WAS GREAT!

Ha, just kidding, this movie sucks.

I really liked X-Men: Days of Future Past for two reasons.  It mixed the old cast with the new in a "this is not entirely fan service" kind of way, and it retconned the godawful X3: The Last Stand.  (Christ even the title of that movie is shit).  It was also an enjoyable all around movie with solid themes, good acting....etc.  But yeah, it fucked up the continuity of the X-Men movies so badly that it's starting to rival its own source material.

Now X-Men: Apocalypse comes along, decides to fuck with the continuity even more, and just lose all sense of what made previous X-Men movies good.  Hell, the X-Men movies have been better at villains than Marvel's total control of the MCU, so it had that going for it too.

Apocalypse is a villain I've wanted to see in a "Marvel" movie mostly because I think Marvel villains have been terrible so far.  (Along with Thanos and Venom.....What? What are you talking about?  Venom has not been featured in a Spider-Man movie yet.  I THINK I would have remembered that).  I mean, Whiplash?  Yuck.  Red Skull?  Nazi.  Loki?  Daddy issues.  Ultron?  Stupid.  Fuckin Baron Zemo?  He's in Civil War.....I guess.  The Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies?  They all personally know Peter Parker and are defeated by their own hubris.  Even Venom......SHIT.

Apocalypse in X-Men: Apocalypse desperately needed a monologue.  For reals.  Yeah he has one while launching all the nukes into space but it's just "I'm evil bow before me mere mortals for I am the one true god blah blah blah."  He always had a....genocidal tone in the comics and was pro eugenics and.....yeah okay.  Can't really go there without an R rating but you know what I mean.  This was diet Apocalypse.

Captain Grumpy Pants.

Also, his ability to grow into kaiju size only happened in his mind fight with Xavier.  Lame.

I have more issues with the rest of the characters.  It was obvious Jennifer Lawrence wanted nothing to do with this.  She was not going to put on that blue make-up for more than 3 scenes tops.  The dialogue had to point this out and Mystique's reasons for not being blue were "I'm hiding"....."despite also being the Mutant and Proud person that a lot of people look up too and saved a president and  mutants are more accepted in this time why am I doing this?"  It's dumb as shit and flies in the face of her character.  There is no reason for Mystique to be here other than, it happens to be Jennifer Lawrence.  Apocalypse should have disintegrated her.

The new-ish characters are fine.  I liked Sansa Stark as Jean Grey.  Cyclopes kid was fine (I don't care enough to look up his name).  But....why did the movie spend so much time establishing these characters when we already know who they are?  It was a ton of wasted time and I find it funny that the basics where explained, but Jean Grey's Dark Phoenix bullshit is glossed over?????  What the fuck?  That was cheap, cheap, cheap.  I don't even care if that is a spoiler.  Fuck that noise.

Miss Grumpy Pants.

This movie commits a cardinal sin in being boring.  Nothing happens for an extremely long time so that new characters, who are also old characters, can get backstory.  New characters who are not old characters, like Psylocke, gets maybe three lines of dialogue and....thanks for stopping by I guess.  Also, she's the only one who is still evil in the end in case fuck it.  I don't care.  Angel, who is sorta old but that movie got retconned, is a douche and MIA at the end.  Storm is fine and oddly enough, I LIKE this characterization of her.  Funny how we get a cool Storm character now that Halle Berry has nothing to do with her.  I'd watch that spinoff.

The two big ones, Xavier and Magneto, are fine.  James McAvoy is my favorite as I don't think he's ever been in a bad role (Yeah I liked Wanted fucking fight me).  Micheal Fassbender can do almost no wrong, that one wrong being Prometheus which fuck that movie while I have a chance to say so.  Xavier is basically the Professor X we all know and love finally.....which has the downside of making him boring.  Yes he rekindles his love with Moira but come on.....

APOCALYPSE DOESN'T HAVE HIS POWER AND THAT'S WHY HE WANTS TO SWITCH INTO HIS BODY YET XAVIER LOSES IN THE MIND FIGHT?!?!? Did everybody miss this?  The mind battle is in Apocalypse's head, I think, even though it shows the school and Jean Grey jumps in.  Xavier gets his ass kicked because, apocalypse is better at everything, but in the universe this CANNOT HAPPEN.  It's the reason Magneto wears a helmet.  Xavier should have been able to jump into Apocalypse's head and immediately put him into a coma.  How can Apocalypse fight Xavier in his own head, or if it is actually in Xaviers head, IF HE DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME POWER GODDAMNIT this is stupid.  Literally every other mutant and human has no control over Xaviers god like powers.*

*There is a distance thing hence Cerebro and the airport scene in Days of Future Past, but Xavier is close enough to the battlefield one would think.  Actually, he's in the Blackbird....which is doing what during that final fight?

Magneto is okay but weird.  Did anybody really see him trying to live a quiet life in Poland after Days of Future Past?  Yeah.  No.  Also, Apocalypse bringing him to Auschwitz was a little on the nose.  Plus....what exactly was he doing during that final fight?  Ripping up the earth from Cairo to...destroy Cairo only?  Or was this Man of Steel like terraforming the entire Earth which by how long it was taking, would have taken years.  I assume he was building Apocalypse's base in which to launch his wars but....this is dumb.  And in that final, FINAL fight when he betrays Apocalypse, why is he still throwing earth at him instead of dropping a building on him?  You know, like the baseball stadium he picked up IN THE LAST MOVIE.

First Lieutenant Grumpy Pants.

This movie is a mess.  It's boring.  Nothing makes narrative sense.  The movie makes a big deal out of Xavier going bald (wha????????).  Cerebro is AGAIN used against the X-Men.  Jean Grey doesn't try to murder everybody when going full Phoenix.  Nightcrawler is on the team when nobody knows who he is in X2.  There is a Wolverine cameo......I ALMOST FORGOT.

That whole Stryker detour is there only to justify a Wolverine cameo and it's bullshit.  Why is this scene in the movie?  It has nothing to do with Apocalypse, it REALLY fucks up the continuity even more, it should have been cut for a shorter less boring movie, and even the actors seemed to be spinning their wheels.  The writing in the Weapon X scene is fucking garbage.  Nobody can use their powers on the helicopter because of a MacGuffin and NOBODY sees the stowaways just hanging out in the back?  Get, the, fuck, out, movie.  Jean Grey can't hide them there.  She can't!  ITS IN THE MOVIES OWN RULES I AM NOT NITPICKING.  And when they do get to the base, still nobody finds them until they have already tried to open the cell door.  (There isn't a camera pointed at THAT door?  Really?).  Also, that base is in Canada.  How did they get home?  Also, also, at the end of Days of Future Past, it's shown that Mystique is impersonating Styker WHY?  Fuckin.....what.....why?  That went no where.  No, fucking, where!!!!!!!!!

This makes me "General Grumpy Pants".

This movie isn't quite as bad as X3: The Last Stand but it tries.  It really tries.  A for effort.  It's funny that Days of Future Past would bring so much hope to a franchise that really only wanted to fix that one movie and do nothing else.  Why even tease Apocalypse if you're not going to give a shit about it?*  Bryan Singer made X-Men good, left it, X-men got shitty until the very underrated First Class, then Singer came back, made one good movie, then made it shit again.  This franchise needs an extended break.  Maybe then, somebody can make a fucking X-Men movie with Gambit in it.

*Here is a nitpick.  Why did the movie completely abandon the Age of Apocalypse storyline from the comics?  I know they didn't want to use more time travel, even though the comics treat time travel like a drunk starting a knife throwing circus act with his wife, but why not?  If the movies wanted to stay grounded, which they did a very poor job of in this movie, while also not giving a shit about continuity, what's the point?  Why not go all out?  Make a movie that is nothing but alternate timeline shit.  I'm not saying this would make a good movie, but there is potential for a better one.

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3 Footnotes:

1.  The Quicksilver scenes were cool.  I'm not entirely sure how he found out Magneto was his dad but that is the least of my complaints.

2.  I could sum up this movie in one sentence.  "Jubilee has a cameo and doesn't even shoot any fucking fireworks".  It's perfect.  She's in the movie for Jubilee fans, all two of them, then doesn't even get to show her power.

3.  X-Men movies ranked, including spinoffs.

Deadpool (I'm counting it).
X2: X-Men United (dumb name)
X-Men: First Class.
X-Men
X-Men: Days of Future Past
The Wolverine

big drop.

Wolverine: Origiiiiii.....hmmmm, wait.

X-Men: Apocalypse
Wolverine: Origins (forgot how bad this was)
That time I shit my pants and it looked like Magneto's helmet.
X3: The Last Stand.

Gone Home Review

Back in 2013, critical indie darling Gone Home was released to an unsuspecting public, and professional game reviewers ate it up.  They ate it up so much in fact, that it won Game of the Year in many outlets despite being a year with many heavyweight contenders.  The Last of Us, Bioshock Infinite, and a really big one, Grand Theft Auto 5 (on last gen consoles at least) all released that same year.  This, of course, infuriated many a man baby because Gone Home is not a game.*

*Also it has two lesbian characters and a significant amount of feminist themes in it which I'm sure had nothing to do with it.

Gone Home is the king of "non-game" games because of its notoriety.  (I don't want to rehash this stupid argument, but I've already talked about this.)  While I never really had much interest in buying the game, I was always a little curious what the big deal is and the console version came up for free on PS+.  It was a fine 2 hours spent.

You play as Kate, a 18-21-ish year old girl who has returned home from a trip to Europe only to find her parents and her younger sister Sam missing.  It is also a new house to her as her family moved while she was away due to inheriting a mansion from a mysterious relative.  On the front door is a note from Sam saying NOT to go looking for her and the game is trying to piece together what happened while you were away.

I've been very pro "mystery without combat game" as a budding new genre.  It's a great idea for a video game without having to resort to violence, puzzle solving, or simulations.*  Well, it's still kinda puzzle solving, but this is more cerebral.  The reward is in the story and completely independent of gameplay.  In Gone Home, the mystery is set up just fine....even if the payoffs are a bit lame.

*Nothing is wrong with any of those kinds of games by the way.  I just like to see different styles of games.

Don't get me wrong, Gone Home's story is good.  I wouldn't call it GOTY good though and story is mostly all the game has going for it since its gameplay is very scaled down.  It relies heavily on a bait-and-switch trope that doesn't sit right with me.  The game is basically like a horror game but without any horror.  This is set up with its world building and its mechanics.

Starting with the latter, this game plays like Amnesia: The Dark Decent. Seriously. You don't have a sprint or anything like that, but you can pick up and examine almost any object in the game.  It surprisingly has a physics engine, albeit, a budget one.  You progress through the game by picking up certain objects and reading certain letters that will trigger a voice over journal entry from Sam.  This uh....this also happens in Amnesia, only this time the journal entries from Sam are written FOR our protagonist and gradually tells you the story.  Also, just like many indie horror games, you progress through the house via a forced linear path.  Going in, I thought the house would be open but instead doors are locked and require finding a key, forcing you down a linear path so that the story is told in the correct order.

Features of the story and ambiance also create a horror game feel.  It's at night, you have to turn all the lights on, there is a raging storm outside with thunder and lightning, floor boards will creak, the house will settle, and so on.  Even though I KNOW I'm not playing a horror game, I can't help but put down something I'm reading and slowwwly check behind me every now and then.  Also, the mansion was owned by an eccentric weirdo, Sam's classmates refer to it as the "psycho house", Sam and her girlfriend routinely go ghost hunting, the house has hidden passageways, and other spooky things.  There is even a late game spooky thing that bait-and-switched the ending for me (see spoiler section below).

Because of the games weird reliance on horror tropes, without a single jump scare or monster, the story feels a little disconnected.  The story itself is good but it feels like it should have been in a different environment.  I'm not sure the end game feels I got were the ones intended by the developer.  Or it they were intended....okay????  (Again, spoiler section below).

However, for a 4 person dev team, this game is pretty phenomenal.  I never had any technical issues and the art design was on point.  Taking place in 1994, I loved all the little 90's nostalgia in the game from Kurt Cobain, Sonic Youth, SNES cartridges, Trapper Keepers, hand written mail, postcards, those stupid halogen lamps that everybody owned in the 90's, and even....TV static.  (Why am I nostalgic over that....?).  The game looks really good for such a small team.  It's also very cohesive, which is probably a benefit of small teams rather than large ones, and its narrative isn't muddied by information overload.  It's obvious what is important and what is "hey remember this from the 90's?".

And....yeah I'm pretty much out of things to say that isn't a spoiler.  I liked the game okay but I don't think it's great and especially not a GOTY contender.  It's OBVIOUS why it was a critical darling now that I played it though.  It talked about themes rarely in video games, it was made by a small team nobody really knew anything about, it had a solid narrative, and it looks hell of a lot better than the crap on Steam Greenlight.  For all those reasons, I liked it too, even with its tone issue, and it certainly isn't a game worth getting annoyed about.

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SPOILER SECTION BELOW which I recommend reading even if you haven't played the game because I doubt many of you actually will play this game.  Also, the ending is the part I wanted to write about the most.

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The games narrative is primarily focused on Sam, the only character with voice over, and the parents.

The father is a semi-successful novelist, who hits a rough patch, but then finds his niche with a specialty publisher.  He has some issues in his relationship with the mother.  The mother is a park ranger who has the hots for a co-worker and it ooooohhhh so close comes to a full on affair until it's revealed the dude has a fiance and the mother turns down a wedding invitation late in the game
(showing her "what the hell am I doing" sense).  The mother and the father leave on some sort of couples retreat to rekindle the love and such.  That is why the parents are gone.

I do think the game does a good job at handling their sub-story.  It's given a very humanistic tone that isn't afraid to show the wandering thoughts of those in a long term relationship (coming up on 11 years myself....heh).  It's natural.  It's human.  It isn't glossed over like a rom-com.  It's well done.

Sam's story is really good.....and it pains me to say that her payoff and the game has dissonance that I cannot get over.

Sam meets Lonnie who is a punk rock, fuck authority, fuck the patriarchy girl who is going to join the army-what?..........Um......Yeah I don't buy it.  I guess chalk it up to "stupid teenager-ness" but that seems far, FAR fetched.  "Don't ask, Don't tell" is even brought up in the game and considering the two girls fall in love with each other.....I don't even.  The outspoken, raucous, started her own punk band, anti-authority, lesbian wants to join the army.....in 1994?  This isn't a good idea.  Kids aren't this dumb, and they can be pretty dumb.

Anyway, the two have a lovely relationship until the due date comes that Lonnie needs to report to boot camp (Sam also gets into a college for literature.  There is a pirate story that you gradually pick up and it wanders on a lot with the changes with Sam's mood and age.  The two girls eventually turn it into a comic that YOU CAN'T READ.  I would have read the shit outta that.)  Lonnie leaves for boot camp and Sam resigns herself to the spooky attic with red lights adorning the door saying she is going to stay up there forever.  However, at the very end of the game, you find the attic key, find an empty bed and a note that gives the final voice over saying Lonnie couldn't go through with it, can't stand being away from her, called Sam, and the two run away together happily ever after.....

I have two problems with this ending.

1.  Leading up to the attic, the second to last room is a hidden room behind the stairs with a goddamn pentagram where the two girls made their "final preparations" in an attempt to communicate with the deceased relative who they constantly ghost hunted as I alluded too earlier.  Immediately after finding an item here, the second to last voice over happens where a distraught Sam talks about going to the attic and....basically coming as close to possible as wishing she was dead without actually saying it (this is immediately after Lonnie leaves for boot camp).

I was invested in the story and dreaded going up to the attic thinking I was about to find a dead sister.  That obviously didn't happen.  Yeah, I could chalk it up to overly dramatical teenagers but not with the horror game tropes going on.  Instead, you find her dark room with a bunch of photographs of the two being happy together and with the voice over....I felt relief.  Relief is fine.  It's a good feeling.  But, the happy ending didn't feel all that happy because of that bait-and-switch.  The game tricked me again!

Another example, is when you find a bathtub with red stains on it.  They are positioned so that if a person was laying down in that bathtub, those are about where a persons wrists would be.  This comes immediately after Sam's journal entry about hating her parents.  I'd find a note after seeing the bathtub about how she helped Lonnie dye her hair red.  Yep.  THANKS.

What is this games deal?  The story is touching and makes you feel nice.  It's cute really.  It's fucking adorable.  But then I have a game that is trolling me because......why?  It's not like the game played with horror tropes in an interesting way or anything.  This game is definitely not satire.  It's more like, "lol, gotcha!".  Why you gotta play with my feels game?

I don't think anybody has ever said this but, Gone Home?  Gone Home is memes.

2.    This is probably the old man in me but....two teenagers sacrificing their future to be together is so not a good idea.

I only really thought of this after thinking about the game later but realistically, and the story is rooted in realism, is not likely to keep a happy ending.  Statistically, that relationship will not last.  Yes, the parents are religious and pretty pissed off about their daughter having a romantic relationship with another girl.  Running away from them?  Sure.  Go for it.

I....assume Lonnie's "Cool Dad" will take them in, as soon as he gets over the fact that his daughter is no longer joining the army and has no future, but....I assume that.

Whatever.  There isn't a whole lot of stories about a teenage lesbian romance out there in games so I guess I should let this slide.  But....lets have better endings in the future okay?

Overwatch Review

So Overwatch is fun.  In fact, I'm likely to write about it more often, but here is a general review written more for people who haven't played than ones who have, but ones who have might see some hot takes.

Unfairly labelled a MOBA and a competitor to Battleborn (though it still is, kinda, that second thing), Overwatch is a Team Fortress rip off with a larger, more dynamic, character set.  The game is heavily, HEAVILY, geared toward team play thus getting it's "MOBA-lite" comparison despite being an arena shooter.  It's also very easy to pick up and play, so newbies shouldn't feel left behind, while also having plenty of depth and strategy.  You can sink hours into this game and still find new things.

Overwatch is about a bunch of heroes who used to be on a team called, well, "Overwatch", but after establishing world peace....or something....they've been called back into action.....for.....reasons.  I don't know.  Any lore or anything resembling a story is not in the game.  Sure, there is a ton of supplemental content like cool Youtube videos and wikis and whatever.  None of it is actually in the game and it's all very disconnected.  I'm not sure why the characters are doing......anything really.*

*There SEEMS to be some call to get Overwatch back together....for reasons....but there has been several falling outs....for reasons.  I only get this sense from scripted, pre-game banter.  I could be way off.

The team is led by a gorilla scientist.  A sentence I get to write.

So it's weird to say this next part but, the characters are BY FAR the biggest strength of the game.  They each have well established personalities, even if they are a bit archetypal (looking at you edgelord Reaper), and their designs just ooze more personality leading Overwatch to be one of the highest searched porn categories.*  Their skill sets also add to fleshing out their personalities as well making up for the total lack of "character motivation" a good character normally needs.  The pre-game banter, and unlockable voice lines and emotes, all help as well.

*I wouldn't know....or anything.**

**Yes, yes, I know.  Rule 34 and all that.  Still, Overwatch porn flooded the internet exceptionally fast.  I'm not the only one who has noticed (link is sorta NSFW, with censoring. Use caution).   It's a testament to great characters when everyone can't wait to see them fuck.  I'm not kidding.

That's the face of someone watching porn of themselves.

The characters are split into four classes: Attack, Defense, Tank, and Support.  Attack characters are good damage dealers, tend to be more mobile, and two of them are OP with the right person (Genji and McCree).  Defense characters are slower, usually have higher HP, two are turret types, two are harassing types, and two are snipers who can go fuck themselves.  Support characters heal, well 3 of the 4 of them heal, one only does shields and can set up low power but crafty turrets.  It's uh, it's weird.....Anyway.  One has a speed boost and another can debuff enemies.  Also, Mercy is almost identical to the Team Fortress Medic so an easy newbie character.

The tank class is strange.  Out of 5 characters, only two seem like true tanks IMO, Reinhardt and Roadhog.  Winston is best at disrupting lines and causing chaos, Zarya is like a Tank/Support hybrid who has a big learning curve, and D.va.  D.va might be the biggest discussion topic among tanks because she isn't a tank.  She's great at flanking, holding lines, and a super great sniper counter which I almost don't want to say because so few know this and it's like a secret with my buds.  The tank class is always a discussion among Overwatch fans so far and I will go into more detail in a future post.

The game is set up with 12 maps on 3.5 modes.  There are Assualt maps, Escort Maps, Control (king of the hill) maps, and hybrid maps hence the 0.5.  Assualt has you capture two points by standing in a box.  Escort makes you escort a payload....just like Team Fortress....huh.  Control is yep.  And, Hybrid maps have an assualt point to take first, then a payload to escort.  Except for the Control maps, you play either attack or defense and after a round, switch.  The faster an objective is captured, the more time you have to capture the next.  Overwatch also has a (sometimes shakey) Overtime system that as long as somebody is "on the point", you can stop the opposing team from, or on attack claim, an objective (it sounds more complicated than I can explain).

The maps are surprisingly better than I initially thought in the beta, as well as during my first, I dunno, 20 levels.  There are far more hidden hallways and possibilities for flanking than at first glance.  Gaining character knowledge also helps exploit the maps in character specific ways. They also having varying locales like Russian factories, old western roads, ancient Egyptian temples, a....a quiet Latin American town.

What to the people who live here think of all this?

Now....I know I ripped Star Wars:Battlefront for having few maps and recycled modes.  Why is it okay for Overwatch and not Battlefront?  A quick 3 points.

1. Overwatch is built for team play.  Battlefront is not.  Battlefront has 20 players on each team in its largest modes, making team play near impossible.  
2. Battlefront has no classes or any real different characters.  Sure, you can play as a Jedi, sometimes.  But it's basically random with 20 people, making any sort of strategy around a Jedi  player like trying to convince the very likely 12 year old Darth Vader to wait for help rushing the next pointtttt "where the fuck are you going kid?  No!  Stop!  *Dies*".  Yes you can get new guns and equipment too but the vast majority of it is either worthless or overpowered so everybody just uses the handful that's overpowered.  Overwatch actually takes balance into consideration.
3. They are two different genres, technically.  Battlefront is a big, raucous, brainless, soulless, grotesque movie tie in that was rushed out the door.  Overwatch is about Overwatch.  Battlefront is about getting you more hyped for Star Wars movies, as if they needed it.  (Lets just say, Battlefront feeeeels more corporate.  EA does that).

It's so glossy

Overwatch has a leveling system that doesn't really mean anything other than "this dude played the game a lot....maybe".  There is a group EXP bonus too (which I have exploited as well as some others probably reading this, *high five*) but it's pretty negligible.  I've noticed the level 25-50 players tend to be the saltiest, self proclaimed experts of Overwatch.....

Yep, I love this game, but there are some negatives.

The vast majority of the community is fine.  Most people are quiet, which can hurt a team based game although sometimes things gel anyway.  The synergy is sometimes just right even on a totally silent team.  But other times, the synergy is wayyyyy off and everybody tries to do their own thing and get slaughtered.  This leads to some people....getting a sense of "know-it-all" when they clearly do not.  (Two snipers never, ever, ever works.....except like twice.  But usually, it's a shit show).  The community is slowly getting more salty (even myself at times) over bad character picks, people refusing to get on point when it's desperately needed (looking at you "always picks Hanzo player"), and Mei haters who can fuck RIGHT OFF.

Mei is bae.  I'm sorry Mei is the least "Call of Duty" of any character, and good Mei's need to spam ice walls, but you HAVE to forgive the occasional bad ice wall.  Sorry you're a fucking Genji on a defensive team fucking around in bum fuck Egypt while the rest of us hold this point and my ice wall stopped you from backing out of danger.  Maybe not spawn camp?????  I use ice walls to keep enemies from advancing on the point, block snipers, block turrets, and just general slowing them down.  Also, sorry I blocked your shot, friendly sniper or turret.  I'm sure THAT was the kill that would have solidified the win.    Mei is fucking bae!

I've always liked characters with ice powers.  Also, adorbs.  

Whoa....Got a little off topic there.

Overwatch is VERY popular so of course there are going to be some asshats.  That said, you don't have an RPG-like skill tree you need to climb in a single game.  The legendarily toxic League of Legends type of community is unlikely to develop here.  There is no "one way" to play a character.  The saltlords are routinely outnumbered.  There needs to be a punishment for rage-quitters (there used to be an exp penalty but I think it's gone.  Even then, that is a lame punishment) but I think the bad teammates are easily ignored and/or muted.

The saltiest of issues are character picks but Overwatch ENCOURAGES switching characters mid game if things are going south.  It's something, myself included, people need to get better at.  Each character has counter characters and it is admittedly hard to ditch a character I have a good K/D with.  It's obviously my teammates fault we are losing....right?

Learn as many as you can.  Sticking to one character only will lead to some bad times.

Overwatch's rewards could be better too.  You get a "Loot Box" every level, which are randomized skins, emotes, voice lines, sprays, etc.  You rarely get anything you want, you can get dupilcates (?!?!) which are converted to in game currency, and just generally suck.  Oh, also microtransactions.*  As if loot boxes don't suck enough, you can buy them for real world money.  The actual things you want?  You can't buy (I'd still hate them here but less so).  If there was an option to just get in game currency instead of randomized loot boxes, this would be 10x better.

*BTW, I don't do # outta 10 ratings in my reviews but the mere existence of microtransactions would drop this game a full point for me.  We are not harsh enough on game companies pulling this bullshit.  No, "It's just the way it is now" for me.  No.  It doesn't have to be.  Leave that to shitty mobile games.  And yeah, "only on cosmetics" is still a load a shit.  It's...in the game.  What am I paying for?

Luckily, this game isn't "pay-to-win" and it's mostly well balanced.  Some character issues aside (see next Overwatch post), the game is very welcoming to every skill type.  Hell, after practice, I'm starting to get better at my bad characters.  Except Hanzo because fuck him.

There is ALWAYS a Hanzo.  

Finally, I absolutely need to mention that Kill/Death ratio is pretty pointless in this game.  As long as you contribute to the team, it's all good. Timing can matter, sure, but overall K/D is devalued.  You cannot see teammates K/D.  Ever.  Also, some games, you just gotta throw yourself at the objective, death count be damned.  Sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind.  If a defensive team is holding a choke point, go Tracer or Reaper, get behind them, force them to defend the objective instead.  Sometimes you gotta fly in as a Mercy and revive a bunch of dead teammates knowing you are gonna die in the process.  Sometimes you gotta cover flanks as Symmetra and just sorta be in the background.  Sometimes you gotta be Genji or Tracer on defense and just be a general fuckwad that tries to disrupt an offensive back line, have a GREAT K/D but be a huge reason the team lost because of the aforementioned fuckwadded-ness

Mostly though, Overwatch is just fun as hell.  If you got the game on PC, hit me up and we can play together.  If PC is not viable, give the game a shot on console (which felt more K/D orientated but I bet is getting better), or not and miss out.  I got sold on this game by watching Youtube let's plays (mainly Jesse Cox's, who I don't even watch all that much).  There is more in depth stuff I could say about the characters and strategy....so expect that post some time.

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Mei is bae.  Some of you, fucking hate Mei.  Just want you to know.  You are very, very, wrong.  You came across a good one, and suck at Mei yourself.  I understand.  Mei is unorthodox to play as and good Mei's are a problem.  You're just jealous.  Let it go....snow and ice reference unintentional.