Rogue One Review (Spoilers)

Since I'm writing this well after release....spoiler warning.  The whole post.

Anybody that follows me on Twitter may have seen my angry-ish rant (it reads angrier than I actually was) about Rogue One.  Honestly though, it's okay.  I was having a pretty shitty day and Rogue One was just kind of mediocre so I judged the movie pretty harshly.  Also, some of my old Star Wars fandom came out a little because the movie had a couple head nods to extended universe fans.  It was a nice gesture but all I could think about is how the context was all wrong.

I think because of my past super fandom, Star Wars is super hard for me to critique until it has aged for a while.  I too was in denial after first seeing The Phantom Menace many years ago.  I initially thought it was good!  It probably took me a full month to admit that not only was it not good but not even average.  Star Wars just has that effect on some people (me).

Rogue One gave me the opposite feeling at first because a. It's not a main series Star Wars movie and therefore, b. Doesn't feel like a Star Wars movie.  I knew this going in and it still threw me for a loop.  100% objective, I am not.  My fandom got the better of me.

Having gotten figuratively over it, I think Rogue One is between average and sitting on the fence of being a good movie.  It's certainly not great but not bad either.

(Note - Not everything in this post is going to be me complaining.  Trust me.)

The movie has 2 big flaws, the first being characterization.  Uh...why can't I remember any new characters name outside of Jan...Orzo?

Pictured here.

I mean Jyn Urso and WOW does that name look like a name I came up with while writing my own Star Wars short stories when I was 12 years old.  That's the problem with Sci-Fi names.  It's a fine line between acceptable and laughable.

Anyway, Jyn Ursa Major...

Pictured here.

...is orphaned at a young age because Star Wars has never had a protagonist like that.  Also, she is a criminal to the Empire, which makes the Rebels look into her, even though the Rebels themselves would be criminals ah fuck it nevermind.  Actually, they want to talk to her about her dad because he is the chief architect of the Death Star and whyyyyyyyy?

What is it with this universe and everybody important being related or at the very least, met at a younger age?  The twist at the end of Empire Strikes Back is one of the most shocking in movie history but it certainly doesn't feel like it now.  And I know this "everybody knows everybody" complaint is a nitpick but it's one that has annoyed me endlessly.  When the young Han Solo movie comes out and he ends up being an orphan who is raised by Chewbacca I will fucking burn down a theater*

*I won't actually do that.

Galen, Jyn's father, is actually one of the better acted roles in the movie.  His purpose is pretty cool too as most of his existence is to fill the Death Star weak point plot hole from A New Hope.  I like that the weakness was there on purpose now rather than an accident that the Empire never found but the Rebels did while looking at Sci-Fi blueprints.  It...doesn't explain Return of the Jedi but whatever.  The other reason for his existence is to give Jyn motivation and that works.  I'd prefer something different but okay.

The other characters include Cassian Andor who is there to spout exposition, be Jyn's friend, and not really be a character in his own right.  I have no idea what this dude's deal is.  The movie also had blind warrior monk named, uuugh, Chirrut Imwe, and machine gun guy named after a Warcraft raid boss, Baze Malbus.  Those guys are badass and wish the movie had more screen time for them.  Forest Whitaker is in the movie too.  His character's name is Plot Device because that's all he is.  He saves young Jyn and gives her her father's message about the Death Star.  That's it.  He also doesn't leave with the rest of the crew when the Empire attacks his town because his purpose is over.  He's done.  It's fine.  I'm fine.*  I don't even care.  His character could be completely removed from the movie and basically nothing would change.  Who cares?

*I'm very not fine.

Also, I wasn't too keen on the acting from Jyn and Cassian.  I don't think the fault is with Jessica Jones and Diego Luna though as flat acting is usually the directors fault.  9 out of 10 times, directors have to dial an actor back from overacting.  In Rogue One, emotion from these two was not allowed.  Every moment that should have had an emotional moment like Jyn's father dying or, THE TWO OF THEM dying at the end just landed with a thud.  This might have to do with keeping the movie somewhat kid friendly but that doesn't explain like half of Pixar's movies.  Emotion, even sad ones, are fine for kids.

This is the only face she makes.  It's weird.

The main villain is Imperial General #1964, or, that dude who wore all white.  He's fine.  He is there only to move the plot forward and I'm okay with that.  He's not really the star of the show because Grand Moff Tarkin is in the movie.  Also, Grand Moff Tarkin is in this movie....why is Grand Moff Tarkin in this movie?

Peter Cushing died in 1994.  In this movie, he is completely CGI and while I will say it was great (and it better be since this movie has Star Wars money) there was still some uncanny valley shit going on.  I get him being there since the Death Star was kind of his baby but come on.  He's in like 4 scenes.  Is this what the reshoots were about?  Wanting to get their monies worth?  I still think CGI should be a last resort for impossible shots but this was unnecessary.  Just give him a cameo and be done with it.  His scenes could have been filled with Darth Vader instead.  Fuuuuucking NOBODY is going to complain about too much Darth Vader* and he wears a mask.  You could have anybody in that suit.

GAH!

*James Earl Jones must be feeling like Alec Guinness cause that line delivery....oof.  I don't think he wants to do that voice anymore.  It still could be directing with him too though cause even his acting was off.

The characterization of this movie ties into it's 2nd major flaw.  2/3rds of this movie is just kinda filler.  The first act is meh, the second act is uuuugh, and the third act is awesome (Note - I told you not everything in this post was going to be me complaining).  I expected more character development because this story is mostly known already.  We didn't need to check in with how the building of the Death Star is going.  We know already.  We didn't need to check in with the Rebel's and how wishy-washy they were about actually getting the plans.  We...actually we didn't know that.

It bugs me that the team had to "go rogue" in order for the Rebels to get the plans in the first place.  Why?  What is the reasoning here?  They tested it on a planet already at low power.  Even if you don't think it can actually destroy a planet are you at least not concerned that it can take out a continent?  And even if you think getting the plans is a suicide mission, isn't it worth the risk?  I know they change their mind but still.

I will say though, that last battle scene was fantastic.  From an audience perspective, this climax was fantastically directed (making the dull acting even weirder).  Ever since, damn, Revenge of the Sith, space and/or air battles have seemed too chaotic.  Just a bunch of ships, lasers, and explosions overwhelming the screen.  The eye doesn't know where to go.  Here, you actually have shots following specific fighters allowing the action to take place in front of you as if you were the pilot....kind of like the original movies.  And even the ground battle has a, dare I say, Saving Private Ryan vibe with the camera often focusing on our heroes.  The camera is close to head level as if somebody is running along side the soldiers with a camera on their shoulders.  It seems like a camera man is actually there and that's really cool to do in a Star Wars movie!  For once, the intensity of the battle is actually felt instead of just looking like pretty fireworks.

Why did it take so long for a Star Wars battle scene to look this good?

Regardless of how I feel about any other part of this movie, there is a scene, when Darth Vader boards a ship and.....it's the best Vader scene ever made.  Not kidding.  He just destroys everyone.  It's like joining an Overwatch game and finding a pro player on the other team and they pick Genji.  They just....you're done son!  And I love how the scene lets him fling motherfuckers with the force while also letting him use his lightsaber...it's so well choreographed.  I have a slight boner right now.  Why can't movies have good villains?

Despite spending most of this post complaining, Rogue One is okay.  Wish it did something else with its characters but holy crap were those action scenes good.  It's like a bizarre Marvel movie where the action scenes are nonsense and the character development is solid (with flaws here and there).  I need to let my Star Wars fandom adjust to this new spin-off movie idea and maybe I won't fly off the handle right out of the gate.

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A quick side note that didn't fit into my post.

I saw this movie the day after Carrie Fisher passed away and I was not expecting a stand-in with CGI touch up Leia to be there at the end.  My wife and I let out an audible "Owe" and we cried a little.  Not full on sobbing but it was a jolt to the system enough that I had to wipe away tears.

Other than David Bowie, Carrie Fisher is the biggest celebrity death I'm sad about in 2016.  Like many a thousands of boys and girls, she was my first crush.  Yes, yes, slave costume but even without that, she was great.  Leia was an excellent character in an era when strong female characters were kind of rare.  Okay...A New Hope isn't that great for her but Empire and Jedi are, slave costume* and all.  I hope Disney doesn't CGI her character in future movies extensively.  Also...if she has scenes in Episode 8 already filmed....I don't know man.

I mean, the costume didn't hurt.  Cut me some slack I was 12.

*One of the best moments from Jedi is when she strangles Jabba the Hutt to death with her own chain.  Cold - fucking - blooded.  The barge was gonna blow up anyway and she straight murders her captor.  It's Jabba so, you know, fuck him, but in repeat viewings it's almost like insult to injury.  I fucking love it.

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6 Star Wars Rogue One Trailer Reactions to the Trailer Reactions

What is it with people overreacting to movie trailers?  I saw the trailer to Rogue One and thought, "that looks like an enjoyable mov - IS THAT THE EMPEROR?  Why is he kneeling?  Why can't I stop looking at Forest Whitaker's lazy eye in everything he's in?  Am I a bad person?"  The answer to that is, probably, but you know what I DIDN'T think about?  Another female protagonist.

Sigh.

Lets do this.

(Every point I bring up is based on a comment I've seen on Twitter, Youtube, or wherever).

1.  A Female Lead is Unrelatable.

...But a laser sword wielding, telekinetic wizard is?

I assume these people are fans of previous Star Wars films but even if they are not, how can you NOT relate.  This reeks of close-mindedness as not being able to relate to a woman is basically saying you don't give two shits about what they think, feel, live through, etc.  And don't bother trying to defend yourself saying, "blurh, blargh, burp, but I am open-minded!".  Women are half the population.  If you can't relate to them, in a fictional universe, how the hell do you relate to them in reality?  I'd hate to see your opinions on smaller population numbers like Gay and Trans folks.

Unrelatable.

2. This is Katniss Again and Pandering to the Hunger Games Crowd.

First of all, THIS....IS.....STAR....WARS.  They don't need to pander to anybody.  It's only the most popular franchise in any media in history.

Secondly, based on what?  Felicity Jones sorta looks like Katniss (you trying to say all white women look the same?) and because of that one "I rebel" line?  This is a trailer.  Every movie trailer for every action movie ever looks the same now.  A bunch of quick cuts, some out of context action sequences, some shots of plot devices, a few catchy one liners, and a tease for something big.  You got Katniss out of that?

Thirdly....nice red herring.  This is a good way to say, "I am sick of action movies with badass females who are flawless but I'm totally not insecure about being beaten up by a woman."

Not the protagonist but still scary.  Also, yes. she could beat me up and I'D WELCOME IT.

Speaking of flawless.

3.  Just like Rey and Katniss, This is Another Female Protagonist Who is Flawless so They Don't Piss Off Feminists.

How can you possibly know that?  It was a trailer.

I can't speak for Katniss as I only saw the first Hunger Games movie and complained about it ripping off the far superior Battle Royale, but Rey isn't flawless.  She barely escapes the assault on Jakku, she gets captured later on (but saves herself), and even though she is badass in the final fight with Kylo Ren, there is an air of uncertainty to her as well.  Daisy Ridley (badass name by the way) did a great job being badass and fucking terrified in that final fight.*  She is going up against a Sith Lord after all.

*I know this opinion is based 100% on acting and that is super subjective.  My other points still stand though.

SHE'S SO FLAWLESS!

Also, if you want to talk flawless, how about Luke in A New Hope.  The dude somehow pilots an X-Wing without any previous experience*, somehow doesn't get killed when Vader has a clear shot but is saved by Han instead, then fires a weapon he has never used before into a 2 meter sized hole while BLIND and using a literal Force he only recently learned he could manipulate.  Luke had exceptionally good luck during the assault on the first Death Star.  Hell, he had flawless luck.

*Don't you fucking tell me that the Landspeeder was enough experience.  That is the Star Wars equivalent of a car.  I can drive a car, does that mean I can fly an airplane?  I will fight you.

Finally, "internet feminists" frequently complain about badass female characters just being gender swapped versions of male characters (See Kill Bill).  I don't think they would want "flawless".

4.  ANOTHER female protagonist.  This is a Trend.

The saying goes, "Two is a coincidence, three is a trend."  This is the 2nd movie.  Calm down.

And while yes, the main series will probably keep Rey in all three, meaning 4 Star Wars movies with a female lead, did you forget about the other spinoffs?  There is going to be a young Han Solo movie and well as a Boba Fett one.

If this is so called reverse sexism, which this argument implies, you almost never see spinoffs of female protagonist movies (Looking at you Black Widow and Wonder Woman).  At least the male characters GET their own movies.

This might be the most misleading poster ever.

5.  This Movie is Feminist/Leftist/SJW Pandering.

Again, Star Wars doesn't need to pander.  Remember how awful the prequels were?  They still brought in a fuck load of money.

I...don't even know what to say to these people anymore.  It's obviously the extreme right wing and Gamergate crowd (which is the same thing) saying this (and MRAS!!).  If they ever read this, obviously Gamergate will deny having any political leaning despite their only mainstream allies being extreme right wing nut jobs and their actual namesake being coined by Adam fucking Baldwin.  Anecdotally, one of the several times I talked with a GG'er, I brought this up and he claimed he was actually left wing in reality.  I asked him how he felt on immigration as a litmus test. He IMMEDIATELY changed the subject to Pokemon of all things.  I did not ask how he felt about dogfighting.

It's so predictable it's sad.  They seem to think they have us all fooled but literally everybody knows they're dicks.  Like...it's not even remotely a secret.

Also, if an MRA reads this, I'm sorry your penis is very tiny.  Go buy the biggest truck you can find to compensate. 

Yeah.  I'm sure Disney is scared of you.

Also, why does Chewie look like we wants to creepily fuck that lightsaber?

Anybody, GG, MRA, or otherwise associated with the extreme right wing will claim something about political correctness and free speech which....HEY.

6.  Something, Something, Political Correctness, Free Speech, and Censorship.

The big three arguments bigots like to bring up to justify being a bigot.  This is broader than Star Wars so I need to go slightly off topic here.

Political Correctness is code for "it used to be okay to say or joke about this thing".  Free Speech is brought up as "Hey, I can say whatever I want".  Censorship happens when you try to call them on their bullshit and they are so anti-censorship.

It's the last defense Trifecta.  Unfortunately, Political Correctness is nothing but a political buzz term, they don't understand how Free Speech works, and they are extremely contradictory on Censorship.

Having a story with the kind of people who exist in reality is PC.  

"Political Correctness", the modern term, was invented as self-critical satire in the 70's.  Of course, politicians being politicians, completely missed the satire and ran with it (See any president using "Born in the USA" as a campaign song).  The term is so callously used by pundits, I'm hard pressed to find any buzz term more political than "political correctness".  It's very usage is still....satire.  Only, the people using it don't realize it cause they're dumb.

Free Speech apparently only works for bigots and nobody else.  Sure, you can say your sexist/racist/homophobic/transphobic bullshit, but that free speech also means people can call you out on your bullshit.  Also, free speech does not mean freedom from consequences, nor does it mean anybody must give you a platform, NOR does it mean anybody has to listen.  Blocking you on twitter isn't infringing on your free speech. It's the listener exercising theirs.

Obligatory.

"But not taking my opinion seriously is censorship!".  Uh...no, it's not.  You still think and say your bullshit.  Plus, making ANY of my 5 previous talking points is basically saying the creators of Rogue One are wrong and should listen to you.  In a way, you are arguing FOR censorship.  They decided to have a female lead simply because a woman can be anything...and you are the one who has a problem with it.  

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That's the kicker.  They don't ever realize they're opinion is dumb and stupid.  Instead, it's the system that is mocking/ignoring them that panders to those who they hate.  It's not always women, but for this Rogue One trailer reaction, it is.  They think men are going to disappear from protagonist roles in action movies even though that will never happen.  It is impossible to argue that Men haven't been THE dominant gender in those roles through history but they do anyway.

And....

I think I know why.

If all this happened during a 3-4 month span when I was 22 years old...I may have agreed with them.  After a bitter break up with a long term girlfriend,  I hated the SHIT out of women.  It only got worse since I forgot how to be single, every girl's boyfriend was juuuuust the biggest asshole, and they all refused to have sex with me because.....

I was a piece of shit.  I never really tried to learn about them.  I was always trying to impress them, look cool, BE cool, and be the nicest guy.  I eventually gave up and stopped giving a shit about trying to find a girlfriend and you know....just live my life and be the real me.  This had an ironic (?) twist though because as soon as I stopped caring, I started to get a ton of dates.  It's also during this time that I met my future wife.

Some day, my love.

When I was trying and failing to get a girlfriend....I repeat, I HATED women.  It's a bizarre hopeless feeling getting rejected by the single ladies and falling for the taken ones whose boyfriends were real assholes (This was mostly not true.  In reality, most of these guys were good dudes.  Later I would learn an emotion called "Jealousy").  During this time, it really felt like I was powerless and women had all the power.  So when women/feminists say "white dudes" are living the privileged life, I can see why people like my 22 year old self would say, "what the fuck are you talking about?"  

The people who complain about another female protagonist in Star Wars is probably a lot like past me.  It's another point for their "women have all the power" argument.  Although....I still don't know why they would be so angry about a woman protagon - OHHHHHHH......

It's about sex isn't it?

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As far as we know, Luke is still a virgin.

Star Wars Battlefront: Review

I played the first two Battlefronts A LOT because they offered a lot of repeat entertainment when I was a poor college student (and because I was only coming down from my Star Wars fan high. Hard to quit cold turkey you know?). Neither of them are really great games, but they are enjoyable and worthwhile for the price.  There isn't a lot too them, but I feel like I got my money's worth.

So why is it, that the new Star Wars: Battlefront feels so....shallow?  The first two were just as shallow, especially the first one which didn't even have online multiplayer.  Is it maybe because what we get is what we expected a decade ago?  Or maybe, because this concept still hasn't moved past the novelty of playing famous Star Wars battles?

For $60 dollars, or $120 if you're an idiot who bought the Premium Addition (Are you gonna tell me there is a SECOND game's worth of DLC coming?  Get the fuck out EA), SW:B is maybe half a dozen maps, another half a dozen maps for the modes with small maps, and 10 modes that have been used over and over since Unreal goddamn Tournament.  It's just the same shit...but it looks and sounds great!  

Here are the modes:

• Supremacy - A large map mode where you try to capture control points like any other Battlefront/Battlefield game.
• Cargo - Which is capture the flag on small maps.
• Droid Run - Which is capture three droids and defend them. Basically a randomized, small map, Supremacy.
• Drop Zone - Which is the exact same thing as droid run but no defending needed.
• Hero Hunt - King of the hill but with Star Wars heroes.
• Heroes vs Villains - An awful mode where you need to keep your hero alive as long as possible but anybody playing as a hero just wants to fight everybody.
• Blast - Deathmatch
• Turning Point - A variation on Supremacy except Rebels are offense and Imperials are defense only with a time limit. I like it but it has ONE FUCKING MAP.  One.  Hard to find a fullish server since people tire of playing the same map over and over.  (this is only available on a free DLC too).  

It's Tatooine with wreckage

The other two modes are Fighter Squadron, which is blegh*, and Walker Assault which could have been cool.  Walker Assault is a mode where the rebels try to activate nodes so that their bombers can, well, bomb an AT-AT Walker.  The Imperial side's job is to shut those off and defend the walkers.  It sucks.  The maps always put the Walkers on the very edge of the map making it impossible to defend or to even use the map strategically on the imperial side.  The rebel side can just activate nodes and camp, forever.  It's so poorly scaled.  

*Fighter Squadron is just X-wings vs Tie fighters in the air kill, kill, kill the end.  Oh, there are transports you need to defend or destroy but goooood fucking luck defending one.  It's impossible.  It's like shooting a slow moving sky whale. Also, flying in Battlefront has always been weird.  I SUCK hard at it and according to end game leaderboards, so does almost everybody else.  Funny how one of the mainstay aspects of Battlefront is it's wonky flying.  The few that are good though absolutely DESTROY on Supremacy maps with their air strike runs.  It's almost unfair.

More like: "AAAHHH, AAAHHH, WHAT DO I DO?  WHAT DO I-" dead.

The combat mechanics are casual, as they should be for a Star Wars game like this.  It's not a complaint just, whatever.  Although I must say, 1st person is the default but I play in 3rd person like a Battlefront game is supposed to be played.  Unfortunately, the game is not optimized for 3rd person so I spend a lot of time shooting into my cover.  It's so dumb.  So many games get 3rd person shooters right so if the option is there, what's Battlefronts excuse?  It's worse than previous Battlefront games!

As for those hand full of maps, they're meh.  Jakku and Hoth are my favorites even though they both have easily exploitable weaknesses with a good team.  The "lava one" is heavily in favor of the imperial side, but it's okay.  The wastes are just a shooting gallery with narrow corridors everywhere.  Then there is Endor.....FUCK this map.  It's too big.  It's so easy to flank and so easy to get murked in the middle.  You can walk out to the edges of this map and never see another person.  How do I know?  I DID IT, just as an experiment.  I thought something was off and decided to try it.  That was a fun 0-0 kill/death ratio for 15 minutes.

This feels more like Predator than Star Wars.

So far....everything I've said is about on par with the first two Battlefronts, but here is why THIS Battlefront sucks.  Missing content and my own personal gripes with multiplayer.  I know, one can't be helped, but the other can.

Starting with the ladder, I get annoyed when other players ignore the objectives in multiplayer.  I never want to be a guy that wants to tell another how to play, but this is stupid.  One time, our team was losing so I singlehandedly rushed a control point to capture it and win in the last two minutes.  I was there, alone, thinking maybe some of my teammates would come help me capture it faster.  I sat there, for a full minute, watching the point get slowwwwly captured since I was the only one there.  One minute later, instead of reinforcements, I get attacked by six players from the opposing team who knew I was about to steal their win in the last minute.  I took out two of them and went out in epic glory at the very least.  More importantly, WHERE WAS MY TEAM?  This isn't a complex MOBA.  Capture this ONE point and win.  The fuck were the rest of them doing?*

*Before you ask, you can see teammates on your minimap and they weren't even trying to help.  It wasn't like they were pinned down and just couldn't get to me.

In an opposite scenario, most of the best players typically have around 35-45 kills to 10-15 deaths. For four straight games, I played against possibly the best player ever who topped the leaderboard around 75-3.  A K/D ratio like that in a casual game is unreal....anyway, that dudes team lost, every, single, time.  What did this guys amazing play do to help his team win?  Nothing.*  This has always been a something I've hated in multiplayer games.  Sure, it works for Counter-Strike but for little else.  And if all he wanted to do was rack up a kill count, THERE IS A DEATHMATCH MODE FOR THIS GAME.  

*Why not play a MOBA you ask?  Well....that's a whole other argument.  The team aspect still gets lost there when most of them build with RPG like skill trees yet "there is only one build you are allowed to do otherwise you're the worst."**

**I know some of my Twitter buds are looking at me funny right now.  MOBA's just aren't my thing okay.  Also, I really don't understand jungling and bots?  Why are there bots?  Also, also, there are going to be 14 shooter MOBA's coming out in 2016 and they all have the 3 lanes, towers, jungle, minions thing going on.....we sure there is NO OTHER WAY to do this??????

Finally, the missing content.  Where are space battles?  Where is goddamn Galactic Conquest, aka, the main mode of previous Battlefronts?  I know it's just a singleplayer version of multiplayer except it's with and against all bots but common.  It had some depth and ideas to it.  The singleplayer in this game!?!?  Yeah, it exists, I guess, like strapping a dildo to a horses head means Unicorns exist.  The fuck is this?  Fight some bots with the WORST AI I have seen in years, collect the tokens over their bodies and oh hey!  Look!  A Tattooine map only available for this stupid ass mode......Wh....wha....what the fuck?

Like it.  Love it.  Fuckin pay ALL the money for it.  Yeah baby.

Why is this here instead of a Galactic Conquest mode?  For as shallow as the Battlefront games have always been, this is even more shallow.  It's 2016.  Why does this game feel worn out after 10 hours of play?  People complain about linear games being too short but what about multiplayer only games?  Why does the media give these kinds of games a pass?  You can do every mode on every map in maybe 3 hours.  This is a game that once sold at $120 for more things to come because apparently they released half a game....but at full price.

I don't usually review games this way but EA wants us to treat Battlefront like a toy so I'm reviewing it like a toy.  Games don't have to be like this.  Even if some games are nothing but toys, they shouldn't be ripping us off.

Fuck this game.  It's an okay game as is, don't get me wrong, but it's everything I hate about modern AAA development.  At least there are no microtransactions.  What a pathetic win for us.  

  

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Here I am being way nicer to another Star Wars property.  

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review

I used to really be into Star Wars.  I read books, comics, played the video games, wore Star Wars clothes, and even had a few toys but I took them out of the box.  I would even spend hours reading Wookieepedia entries to fill in the blanks I had in the lore.  Yeah, there are A LOT of Star Wars fans more hardcore than me, but I was probably nerding out above "average person who likes Star Wars".

Once you start to learn a lot about a fictional universe however, you start to find every little flaw, most of which was introduced in the Prequels or the now defunct Expanded Universe.  Like, the ability to use The Force is apparently genetic yet the Jedi Order bans Jedi from having children, or the Galactic Senate being simultaneously powerless and way too powerful.  Jar Jar brings the motion to give Palpatine "emergency dictatorial powers" and all the other senators agree without any questions asked.  Also, every important event in the entire galaxy happens around a small number of people. The Jedi tree from Qui Gon Jinn practically responsible for everything.  Even the technology in this universe is ludicrously overpowered.  Fans have calculated that a single blast from a Star Destroyer has 70 Terajoules of energy.  Why even bother with a Death Star? An orbital bombing from just a half dozen of these things should leave any planet a wasteland.

Of course, the shield generators are easy targets.  Hasn't the Empire seen a video game boss weak point before?

Star Wars got too big for it's own good.  All this expanded lore was introduced into a franchise that started as a homage to Buck Rodgers, other serialized pulp Sci-Fi, westerns, and samurai films.  Star Wars is a mish-mash of a lot of dumb silly fun that just blew up into a garbage fire of dumb silly nonsense.   

So I was hesitant to buy into the immense hype for Star Wars: The Force Awakens completely.  86'ing the Expanded Universe post Return of the Jedi was a good move, but the Prequels remained.  How much of the superfluous crap would remain and how much would this movie return Star Wars to it's roots.  

Luckily, my fears were unfounded.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens is almost more of a remake of A New Hope rather than a sequel.  Some people may be disappointed by this, but I really, really liked the movie because of this.  

The Empire regroups after Return of the Jedi and is renamed The First Order.  A New Republic is also established which supports a Resistance against The First Order.  How much of the Galaxy is controlled by what faction is never explored but it wasn't really necessary.  Luke Skywalker is missing and everybody and their mother is looking for him.  BB-8, the little soccer ball droid, is carrying part of a map to him and acts as the maguffin for the movies plot.  

If this sounds exactly like the plot to A New Hope, it is.  Empire/First Order, Rebels/Resistance, R2-D2 carrying Death Star schematics/BB-8 carrying a map.  There is even MORE likenesses to A New Hope that I can't get into because of spoilers (See spoiler section below).  While the movie can be criticized for not taking any chances and not introducing anything really new, I appreciate the move back to Star Wars' roots.  Yeah, I would have liked a different plot, but I didn't mind the recycled aspects THAT much.  

First Order/Nazi Germany

The reboot feel is more pronounced with the 8 gajillion callbacks in this movie.  There are so many they ALMOST got distracting but luckily the callbacks are....get this, actually relevant to the plot, unlike Jurassic World that treated it's callbacks like blatant fan service and nothing else.  Old characters are given more to do than just be extended cameos.  Harrison Ford does a really good job with old Han, granted, he could probably play Han Solo and Indiana Jones in his sleep.  Han doesn't change much other than having a little "I'm too old for this shit" feel to him.  Carrie Fisher plays a battle-hardened Leia who is no longer the plucky princess of yesteryear.  She means business while also seeming a little tired of these endless wars.  It's a good change.  

One thing the Prequels did poorly was establish new characters with depth and personality.  Poor dialogue was largely to blame for this but this movie's new characters are fantastic with solid dialogue.  

Rey takes on the new young Luke role and is a really well done character.  She's a firecracker with a well established personality.  She doesn't need much expository dialogue as aspects of her personality is shown rather than having characters tell us who she is like the audience is stupid.  Much of the movies plot just happens to her, so her depth isn't explored all that much, but that depth IS hinted at.  For the first movie in a planned trilogy, this is okay and I look forward to learning more about her character.  I'd argue she's already a better lead than Luke was since Luke was sorta characterized as a dumbass teenager in the first movie.  Rey isn't a bright eyed idiot and is established as a character who can get shit done on her own immediately.  She isn't dependent on others as much as Luke was in A New Hope.

Finn is a ex-stormtrooper who is something of a cowardly lion type who just wants to run away from the fighting.  He's got a solid arc and his interactions with Rey are fun.  He too isn't explored too much in depth but there is time to do so in future movies.  Plus, a black man and a woman in the two lead roles is the best for Internet bigots.

....Nice one Abrams.   (Trust me, not a spoiler).

Meanwhile, Poe is fine even if he's underdeveloped.  He's the best pilot in the Resistance and the likely lead in Star Wars: Rogue One.  He's a bit of a Han Solo type but without the edge.  Poe also has a scene that acts as an explanation for a scene that happens to Rey later, while ALSO being a plot point.  It's the type of scene many moviemakers would have cut so I'm glad it stayed in.  

Rylo Ken is a solid villain and a HUGE departure from how the Sith are typically characterized as.  The Sith usually have stone cold emotions, they're super confident, and basically demi-gods.  Rylo Ken is prone to temper tantrums, has shaky confidence, and is pre demi-god.  He's strong and menacing while also being vulnerable.  It helps level the playing field for Rey and Finn.  His motivations are...a bit glossed over as typical Dark Side stuff, but it's at least more than "he's evil", so I'll count this as a win.

The mask is mostly for show.

The movie also fixes a major flaw of the prequels by not overusing CGI.  BB-8 looks real.  A lot of the environments look like they were based on actual models and don't have that video game shine.  Stormtrooper armor isn't always pristine and show signs of wear and tear.  They, god forbid, get dirty in the desert!  What a concept!  

The few changes the movie does make to the universe are solid.  Tie fighters are shown to have copilots, which takes advantage of the whole 360 vision these fighters are designed to look like they have.  Both the First Order and the Resistance both have female pilots and soldiers, so the female cast isn't mostly prostitute.  Actually, the best changes are to the Stormtroopers themselves.  They are actually competent.  Some of them actually hit the targets they are shooting at!  They have even developed countermeasures from getting their asses kicked from dudes with laser swords and from teddy bears with goddamn rocks.

Even the mask re-design is badass

However, there is one production issue I have with the movie.  Just like with Avengers: Age of Ultron, this movie is super fast paced and edited at light speed.  Again, the pacing of the movie is difficult to pin down.  The time frame of the events of the movie make it seem like everything happened in a week, or even just a few days, but that wouldn't make sense to the plot.  It's a minor gripe but it's becoming an epidemic in Disney franchises.  You can slow down portions of the plot without the audience getting bored guys.  Come on.

All in all though, I really liked the movie.  I hesitate to call it great though mostly due to the recycled plot.  However, this movie was exactly what the Star Wars franchise needed in their movies after all the bullshit.  It was a return to what makes Star Wars great even if it didn't take any chances.  Almost the opposite of what many sequels and reboots are, this movie has all the heart and soul, but not enough brains.

That being said, when episode VIII rolls around, I may just buy into the hype this time.

SPOILER SECTION BELOW.

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Disclaimer: All pictures used are within Fair Use for review purposes.