The Extended Cut fixed a lot.
First off, let me just say that I don't hate Mass Effect 3's ending as much as some do on the internet. For a frankly odd number of people, the ending to ME3 made the entire series dead in their eyes. Uh, why? Did these people never hear the phrase "It's about the journey, not the destination"? The ending isn't THAT bad....but it's still pretty awful.
Before writing my awesome ending idea (IT is awesome. You will nod in approval), I must address the controversial ending that shouldn't even be controversial. We SHOULD be debating how Shepard got brought back to life in ME2 and how that technically makes him a zombie but no. The ending to ME3 is the hot topic despite the fact that the conduit is fine if not outright stupid if you get nitpicky, the talk with the Illusive Man is good, and even the Star Child's existence is acceptable even though that is weirdly Final Fantasy for Mass Effect to do. No, my beef is with two points.
1. The Final Choices
This doesn't look good.
While I didn't NEED a happy ending, after 120 hours.....why not? I know the perfect happy ending is cliche, but it's now a cliche to purposely NOT have it. Regardless, I expected several bittersweet ending choices but the bitter far outweighed the sweet.
The destroy (red) ending is weirdly the closest to what the Shepard character wanted despite it being a token ending, excluding the dumb refusal ending that is utter bullshit. This ending is fine, UNLESS you went to the trouble of brokering peace between the Quarians and the Geth. This ending doesn't just kill all the Reapers, but it ends all synthetic life including the Geth. What was the point in spending a third of the game to broker that peace if it was going to get wiped out in one fell swoop? Bittersweet ending? I just committed genocide!
The control (blue) ending is super weird. Shepard's conscience controls the Reaper code and AHHHHH why? While uploading a conscience into some uber-super computer seems plausible in the future, there is no reason for the Reapers to not have some sort of fail safe to kick the motherfucker out. "Yeah, you can control all the Reapers until you do thing X then BOOM. Deleted". Not just that but why would the Reapers allow Shepard to do this? Just because he/she got closer than anybody to destroying them or some shit? That's dumb as hell. Also, this ending makes the Illusive Man right so fuck this.
Because reasons.
The synthesis (green) ending is supposedly the best ending but in my opinion, it's the worst one of the 3. I disagree with other Mass Effect fans about this ending making Saren right, but it does fly in the face of what the ENTIRE Mass Effect trilogy was building philosophically. The entire series was exploring, with degrees of subtlety, how diversity is GOOD. In ME1, diversity was subtle with different cultures working together in the citadel and establishing deeper racial issues without it getting preachy. In ME2, the diversity message is heavier with a larger cast and a pro-human rights (terrorist) group in the fore front that you work with but gradually subterfuge and out right rebel against (choice dependent). Then in ME3, the diversity message is overt with you literally uniting races, some of which who have hated each other for Millenia, for a common threat. Over all of this, you have a synthetic versus organic debate that can only end in war unless we understand each other (see below).
Well the synthesis ending destroys any thesis Mass Effect may have accidentally told by saying FUCK DIVERSITY, WE ARE ALL ORGANIC/SYNTHETIC/WHATEVER NOW. We all understand each other perfectly. The best way to handle diversity....is to fucking CURE it. I.....UH,...*cough*....ahem.
WHAT
THE LITERAL
FUCK?!?!
This isn't a message of tolerance or even understanding. This is a message of rewriting everyones DNA so war can't happen because space magic. Even if every organic being just now has synthetic parts that make them understand robots, which is what the ending implies, HOW DO THE GETH/REAPERS UNDERSTAND ORGANICS BETTER? This makes no sense! Actually, this makes negative sense. The sense meter is below 0. I once saw the Edmonton Oilers win a hockey game. THAT made more sense.
You cannot just change the theme like that! The entire series was based on how diversity is good. How through our common traits, and our differences, we can accomplish a greater good. But no, fuck that. SPACE MAGIC!
And everybody glows green now. Because reasons.
2. The Reapers Motive
I hope those reading have played the Leviathan DLC, in which the DLC explains the Reapers origins, have done so cause here is your final warning.
In the ending, as well as the Leviathan DLC, it is explained that the entire motive for the Reapers is to wipe out organic life, before synthetic life does, despite the fact that the Reapers are a organic/synthetic hybrid HOLY SHIT this is stupid. Also....this sounds oddly familiar.
Sup bro? Somebody using backwards logic?
The Leviathan DLC doubles down on this stupid with the Leviathan race, which could be cool on their own (see next post), trying to find out why other races are not reaching their "apex". They conclude that every advanced race invents AI, that same AI eventually wages war on it's creators, so to solve this problem the Leviathans INVENTED A GODDAMN AI THAT OVERTHREW THEM AND FUCK THIS IS STUPID
"These guys are going to be so happy not to get killed by robots."
......
What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that before they fired their head writer Drew Karpyshyn, something about dark energy/dark matter was going to be the motive? Do you want me to say that Mac Walters and Casey Hudson basically wrote the ending by themselves and straight up stole the 3 ending choices from Deus Ex:Human Revolution? Do you want me to say they used the exact same flawed logic that the villain from Final Fantasy X used? Do you want me to say they had no clue how to end the series and had to make something up on the fly?
Because to me, that sounds exactly like what they did.
Don't worry though. Unlike every other piece complaining about something on the internet, I have solutions. Check back for part 2 where I fix this whole mess.
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The ending to Mass Effect 2 is fantastic though.
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