Thermal Clip

Thermal Clip

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

CounterSpy Review - Gotta Go Back and Kill Em All.


Maybe I'm just really picky when it comes to stealth games but CounterSpy is another one I didn't care for all that much.  I'm of the opinion that level design is possibly THE most important aspect of a good stealth game.  This game, uses randomly generated levels with randomly placed objectives forcing this stealth game to turn into a boring, repetitive, 3rd person shooter.

There are two dominate types of levels.  One is the 2-D platforming stealth sections that are pretty good, and the awful shooting gallery sections that make me wonder how stealth/rail shooter ever came up as an idea in the first place.  

The platforming sections are what everyone thinks this game is.  You can stealthy sneak up on enemies from the front, hang from a ledge and attack them from underneath, or jump up to another platform and come at them from above.  Speed is super important too as once you are spotted, or a dead body is spotted, a guard might attempt to radio in an alert which slowly raises the DEFCON level.  It's imperative to kill these guards as quickly as possible because if the DEFCON level gets too high, a 1 minute long countdown timer starts until nukes are launched at the moon (god this is stupid).  The DEFCON level can also rise from being killed, which is basically saying you have so many lives.  To make matters worse, any alerted guard left behind will ALSO raise the DEFCON level so you gotta go back and kill em all.

Arnold voice: "Hang out"

There are two flaws in these sections that I just can't get over though.  One is the guards better field of view and the seemingly random way they are alerted.  Icons will appear over a guard telling you if they are within alert distance, if they are investigating, or on full alert.  These icons are often on the side of the screen since your character should be able to see them, but you can't.  This kind of weirds me out as I don't know how many times I've killed a guard only to see 8 icons around the screen suddenly jump to full alert despite these guards being in Australia for how close they are.  Other times, I can do the exact same thing without a single person noticing.  Did they see me or not?  And I can't just leave them to maybe find the dead body, so I gotta go back and kill em all.

For example, there is a random hallway section I've ran into with three guards.  I'm at one end, 2 guards are standing next to each in the middle, and the 3rd is at the other end,  I pop out of cover and headshot one of the guards in the middle with a silenced pistol thinking the guard next to him will investigate but no.  He is oblivious, but the OTHER guard down the hall investigates instead.  He walks up to the body and begins to radio in the alert so I pop out again to kill him quickly, THEN the other guard goes on full alert allowing me to kill em all without having to go back.  Later on, I run into the same hallway section again but this time decide to kill the guard at the end of the hall first.  I headshot him, with the silenced pistol, and EVERY guard is on full alert now despite those other two guards not looking at me or the other guard.  What the hell?  These examples are in a relatively simple area too.  It's even worse and more head scratching when you're in a larger area with dozens of guards. Need to be extra thorough in those sections so I don't gotta go back and kill em all.

I wasn't thorough

The other problem with these platforming sections are the aforementioned randomly placed objectives.  The computers you need to raid could be anywhere, forcing you to explore everything and fight everyone.  Great stealth games usually provide ways where you can avoid combat entirely and some of these platforming sections actually have passageways that bypass guards.  Too bad you might also be bypassing your objective so...gotta go back and kill em all.

The other major level concept is the shooting gallery sections which are awful.  Get into cover.  Stay there.  Pop out to shoot baddies.  Move on when they are all dead.  Yes, there are explosive barrels and panels that you can shoot to help out but they are the explosions to this Micheal Bay of a level concept.  The guards rarely switch cover too.  Sometimes there is a rocket guy who shoots a slow moving rocket that can be shot for more BOOMS.  Also, they sometimes throw grenades which you can throw back in the VERY unlikely chance it lands next to you.  I mean, you remember that kid on your little league team who would always throw a baseball into the dirt 20 feet in front of you or 20 feet over your head?  All of these guards were that kid.  I kinda feel bad about going back and killing them all.

Sometimes these shooting gallery sections have a 3-D perspective and look like they can be avoided but I was NEVER able to do so.  Many of these room have like 8 dudes and you can try to wait 10 minutes for them to all have their back turned so you can sneak by.  It will never happen.  Sometimes you can go around it in the 2-D area but there is usually guards there too and if you alert one you alert all 8 of those FUCKERS in the shooting gallery.  SO I GOTTA GO BACK AND KILL EM ALL.

Every time I saw this room there were 8 dudes in there.

In case my point hasn't been made clear yet, a good stealth game should never force you to have to slaughter everybody.  A good stealth game gives you the opportunity to go unseen/undetected and gives you the chance to go back to that state without having to kill everything.  CounterSpy offers neither.  I'm not gonna complain that it isn't like most AAA stealth games since this is a low budget indie title, but you'd think "stealth game BASICS" would have been adhered too.  And it's sad too that the basics of good stealth games would go ignored because this game has a lot of good stuff going for it.  

The story is cheeky and lighthearted for a game about nuclear annhilation (Again, they want to nuke the moon).  The controls are really good, snappy and fluid, but there is strangely no crouch button (another stealth game staple ignored).  Shooting mechanics are basic but fine.  There are several enemy varieties with normal dude, armored dude, machine gun dude, rocket dude, and officers who can be taken alive to lower the DEFCON level (which I suck at. Not a game flaw here, I just suck at this).  There is even different security camera types making some harder to destroy than others.

But...still...I gotta ignore stealth game basics and go back and kill em all.  The LARGEST reason for this flaw is level design, which is exponentially worse due to the randomly generated levels and computer locations.  I've never been a big fan of randomly generated levels in games (MAN, I'm just killing it with the future blogpost teasers), but it seems impossible to have a good stealth game with this concept.  I don't need to know exactly where my objective is, but I need at least a little idea.  Otherwise I'm wondering if I already passed my objective, and I gotta go back and kill em all.

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I reviewed a AAA stealth game that is worse than CounterSpy.  Read it here.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Papo & Yo Review

Is this THE LAST GUARDIAN?!?!?

When I downloaded Papo and Yo off of Playstation Plus, I was expecting a lighthearted puzzle-platformer that would leave me thinking, "that was a thing."  I was also thinking it might be a game I don't finish as I find puzzle-platformers pretty hit or miss.  This one, however, is all Hit and it dished out the emotion in a thoughtful way.

From the opening dedication and the opening cutscene, you know this game is going to be about a boy dealing with an abusive father.  (Look at the picture posted above again....subtle isn't it?)  Instead of being presented as some realistic, deep, drama, the game takes place in a dream like world that seems to be the boy's escapist fantasy.

You take control of the boy named Quico.  You quickly meet a mysterious girl named Alejandra who seems scared of you at first but later acts as a best friend/guide role.  There is also Lula, Quico's toy robot with a jet pack, who is animate and can talk.  Then, there's monster....

This lazy douchebag.

Monster is the metaphor for the boy's real world father.  (This is not a spoiler.  You'd have to be an idiot to not figure that out in the first FIVE SECONDS of the game).  Most of the game revolves around getting Quico and Monster from point A to point B in an effort to "fix" Monster.  Monster's AI is basically a big dumb id who sleeps and eats and does nothing else.  You can manipulate him with coconuts to get him to go where you need him as he seeks them out automatically.  A lot of the time he is passive and in one instance he saves Quico's life.  Monster ALSO seeks out frogs, which he really likes to eat....but that's where things change.

Once Monster consumes a frog he goes into rage mode and becomes aggressive, constantly attacking you.  What is interesting here is that this is NOT a fail state in the game.  He cannot kill you, but man, does he beat the ever loving shit out of you.  He seems slightly faster than you, gives you little time to recover after tossing you like a rag doll, there is no such thing as a dodge button, and he can cut off a turn like a semi-truck.  I know this is a cliche thing to say but, "I've never been so helpless" in a video game.  The only way to get Monster de-raged is to feed him a rotten coconut, which forces him to vomit out the frog.  Frogs are obviously a metaphor for some sort of substance abuse.  SPOILER (It's alcohol).

"It makes me feel alive, because it is alive man"

These metaphors are the best part of this game and I love games that tie storytelling into gameplay this well.*  Lula is a toy that Quico cherished as protection.  Alejandra is, I THINK, Quico's older sister but I'm not entirely sure (I think this is one of those lost in cultural translation things because at times she comes across as almost a girlfriend despite SPOILER AGAIN ((she has the same father as revealed late in the game.))) (Sooo many parentheses!!!!!))))))).  There is also how Quico deals with Monster.  Lula and Alejandra both caution Quico about trusting Monster too much.  Quico, meanwhile, seems optimistic that Monster can be a good guy.

*Sidebar:  I actually think the indie game scene has the ONLY people experimenting with storytelling through gameplay, which is a shame since video games could tell stories in a very unique way.  Something like Minecraft doesn't count by the way.  I hope to cover this topic more in depth in a future blogpost.  I have opinions and stuff!*

This blogpost is getting long but I feel like I'm forgetting something.....

Blocks?  SQUARES ON THE GROUND? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

OH, right!  Gameplay.  The dream-like world is set in a Latin American shantytown with various gears, keys, levers, and handles all outlined in some sort of magic chalk. Activating these moves literal buildings to help you get from place to place.  The puzzles themselves range from obvious to mildly tricky, but I never spent too long being stumped on one.  An early bridge building puzzle looks daunting at first since the camera spins around showing DOZENS of points to interact, but once you start it, you find out that each thing you activate is just a part of a bridge, which you can manipulate to reach new parts, and so on.

What kind of key unlocks a wall?  Ever heard of DOORS?

While the puzzles are pretty easy, there are times that can be frustrating because there are puzzles you can only get past WITH an enraged Monster.  Make one poor jump and you fall to the ground where Monster relentlessly beats on you.  It's difficult getting back up to the platforms, especially if you are thrown into a corner where the beatings from Monster seem worse.

This game does have it's flaws but they seem entirely on the technical side of things. Objects clip through other objects from time to time.  Certain mechanics are introduced once but never used again like throwing frogs against walls and one single platforming section having disappearing platforms. Twice, the frame rate had a severe drop that lead to some choppy chase sequences but those drops only lasted a second or two so I'm not going to be like TotalBiscuit and whine about it for 27 more paragraphs.

Nothing smug about that.

Regardless of some flaws, the gameplay is solid.  If you want a challenge, this is not the game for you.  If you want a unique, interesting, metaphorical, escapist look into a dark past, this game is for you.

I appreciate this game.  I thank the developer for sharing a personal story in such a compelling way.  I don't have an abusive family member but I too have some dark shit that happened to me in the past, just like literally everyone.  This game makes me wonder if I could create something so imaginative to exorcise those demons.

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Monday, March 23, 2015

4 Movies I'm Actually Looking Forward too this Year.

Not gonna lie.  Leading into 2014, I couldn't give two shits about any movie.  I saw exactly 2 movies in the theatres. Ghostbusters Re-Release, because it was awesome and I got drunk and Guardians of the Galaxy, which was okay.

Seriously, why did everyone love GOTG so much? It followed every cliche ever.  It was an okay movie, not great.

1.  Avengers: Age of Ultron

Obviously.  Watch the final trailer if you haven't already.

...This is the Thumbnail?

The first movie made the Avengers look invincible by making an invading alien army their bitch.  This is a problem as it makes the heroes hard to root for.  Also, movie LAW says the 2nd movie in a trilogy must be the darkest (except for The Lord of the Rings because Peter Jackson is terrible at pacing), and every Avengers trailer has made Ultron a very intimidating threat.  Who voices him by the way?  JAMES SPADER?!?!  That's so fucking rad!

So what other threat could make The Avengers look like the underdogs? AI of course.  CALL ME A SCI-FI NERD but humanity has been fighting robots for so goddamn long...(in movies)...I think Asimo is ready to file a harassment suit.  

I think it's a toss up between this and #4 on this list for "which movie will make more money". It doesn't really matter who wins though.  Both movies are owned by Disney.

2.  Mad Max: Fury Road.

I love really like the Mad Max series.  Granted, I haven't seen a Mad Max movie in about a decade, but I'm actually excited for this reboot.  It's a funny thing to write too, since I am well known on my previous blog for being really skeptical...of every...reboot...that even gets announced.  Reboots that are better than the original are very rare.  (2012's Dredd is a good example of the exception.  Than again, the Stallone Judge Dredd movie set a very low bar to hurdle).

However, this reboot is being made by the same director and writer of the original.  If anybody can re-work art AND have it be good, it should be the original artist.  Oh, and the movie uses very little CGI. Almost every stunt is done with practical effects which CALL ME A HIPSTER, alwayyyyys looks better on high budget movies.  I mean come on, look at this shit.

Mel Gibson is a fuckhole

Okay.  That storm near the end of the trailer is obviously CGI but the car wrecks and explosions are real.  And they look amazing, since this is shot in the desert, and unlike a comic book movie, doesn't need to destroy a city.

3.  Crimson Peak.

Not gonna lie, I love Guillermo Del Toro.  He makes movies for the fun of it.  The Hellboy movies are stupid but very entertaining and make narrative sense.  Pacific Rim is REALLY stupid, VERY entertaining and DOESN'T make narrative sense (why isn't Mako the main protagonist?).  But there is the hipster in me that wonders why he doesn't make another Pan's Labyrinth only as a full blown horror film.

Luckily, we get his "ultimate masterpiece" that has been in and out of development for 10 years or so.

Spoiler alert:  I bet "Crimson Peak" is a fancy term for "Blood Mountain".

I hope this movie does what people THINK it might do, which is reboot the entire stagnant horror genre.  GDT is also involved in one of the most anticipated horror video games with Silent Hills.  That is a lot to put on one guy and hopefully his vision can make a great movie and great video game.  My senses say it will be a mediocre movie and an awful video game because Hideo Kojima may have been fired from Konami. That's like Microsoft firing Bill Gates or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups firing Mr Peanut.  

If this movie re-invents the horror genre, I will be surprised.  CALL ME A PESSIMIST, but out of any movie on this list, this is the one I'm the most curious about.  It's different.  It's unique.  It's an original goddamn screenplay.  And holy shit, does the horror genre need an entire reset more than any other, except for maybe Rom-Coms.  

4.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens. 

I don't talk about it much but I used to be a HUGE Star Wars nerd.  I still want a Stormtrooper costume (contact me on Twitter if you have a free one).  I had books, comics, toys, and the video games holy shit, the first Star Wars: Dark Forces is one of my favorite games....in like the 30's range (also, Battlefront).  

So it should go as no surprise that I flipped my shit on this trailer.

WHEN THE MILLENNIUM FALCON PEW PEW'S AND I'M ALL LIKE YYYYYEAH PEW PEW BLAMMO.  GET SOME YOU DARK SIDE FUCKS!

I don't even care.

I don't even care about your opinion of me.

I want this movie to be so good my eyes are blown through the back of my skull.  

I don't even care.  I don't even care about your Jar-Jar attitude right now.  I want this movie to blow every other movie out of the water with tactical nuclear strikes.  I don't even care.

Also, George Lucas did such a terrible job with the prequels that this movie might be good just by association alone.  I expect the 2nd Star Wars movie to be dark as shit, just like my favorite Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back.  So...Avengers: Age of Ultron might be the better movie, but fuck it, I wanna see this one more.  

CALL ME A STAR WARS NUTJOB!  I will take it as a compliment.  

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Thursday, March 5, 2015

Thief (2014) Review

Writers note:  I did not finish this game.  I played about 15 hours.  I didn't finish because it sucks....hard.

My one sentence review of Thief would be: "It's a shitty Dishonored".  My in depth review of Thief would end: "So basically, this game is a shitty Dishonored".  I loved Dishonored.  This game tries to be Dishonored...only if it was shitty.

A much better game.

The first problem with this game is its terrible, TERRRRRRRRIBLE, level design.  Many gamers complained that this game is "too linear" and in a vacuum, that is like complaining that GTA is "too open world".  Linear games are fine.  Linear stealth games, however, are a problem.  Stealth games thrive in large environments.  The Last of Us, for example, has a linear progression but a majority of the levels are large enough to give the player options on how to handle a given situation. Thief is more like two virgins having sex.

You can pick the locks on doors, but can't open others.  You can open some windows, but not others.  You can climb a few walls, but most you can't (Some of the walls you can climb switches to a 3rd person Assassins Creed mode for no rational reason).  You can use the rope arrow to reach higher terrain like 2 times...making me question why I even bothered to buy the damn things.  In Dishonored, I almost always took to the rooftops to get around.  In Thief, you are limited to the ground in an insane number of times, except in the prologue which I think exists just to insult the player.  The prologue is almost all rooftop, like, "look at how much fun it is to run along rooftops", only the rest of the game NEVER LETS YOU DO THAT!

Imma touch you!

There is a stupid amount of dead ends in this game.  In a stealth game, that's a huge fucking problem because you need escape routes when you get spotted.  In Thief, whenever I try to escape getting noticed, I run into a dead end alleyway forcing me to use the awful combat system to fight my way through 6 guards and probably die.

Did I mention the combat system sucks?  Because holy shit, press one button to do all combat is worse than an insurance company who might appear when you're having sex.  I played this game on the PS3.  L1 to dodge, R1 to do all melee combat.  You can use a bow, but that only really works when the guards are not alerted (and even then, not always).  Think of the combat system from the Elder Scrolls games but somehow WORSE.

Yeah.  Totally believable fight sequence.  

But just in case this game didn't sound bad enough, the enemy AI is absolutely BROKEN.  Guards will never notice you unless you are 5 feet in front of them in a well lit area.  Apparently Garrett (the main character) is a wizard who is invisible in darkness even when a guard is looking DIRECTLY AT YOU AND STANDING 10 FEET AWAY.  However, if you are noticed, every guard in a 3 state radius bum rushes you and with the previously mentioned shitty combat system, AND inability to escape (I cannot stress how big of a problem that is for a stealth game), you are fucked.  That means you have to run every level absolutely perfectly, not because of purposely difficult design, but because of shitty design.

Before I move on to one last shitty thing about this game, I should mention that this game IS OPEN WORLD, but good fucking luck getting anywhere.  The map, holy hell, is fucking worthless.   I thought Deadly Premonition had the worst map in video game history but no, Thief is somehow worse.  You cannot zoom in, ever.  You cannot scroll.  YOU, CAN, NOT, SCROLL!  It is completely static.  Even then, the map is nothing but rectangles that might be connected but those connections ARE NOT SHOWN.  Holy shit, fuck this game.  It can't get a map right!

WHAT? My map never got this filled in...and THIS map still looks like shit.

This game was also written by Rhianna Pratchett who also wrote the new Tomb Raider with such a nuance, subtlety, and humanity that Lara Croft has never had.  So how did this boring, cliche, Dishonored ripoff of a story happen as well?  A good story could have convinced me to finish this game but even that sucked.

This is the same studio that did one of my favorite games of all time, Deus Ex: Human Revolution.  How?  HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?   I know layoffs are a big problem in the gaming industry and why I only really trust Bioware and Atlus to be consistent (and I'm not even that confident in Bioware), but this has got to stop.  Square Enix doesn't get enough hate considering all the hate given to EA, Activision, and now Ubisoft (rightfully so).  But Square Enix is the forgotten 4th child.  Not quite as big as those other 3, but still big enough since they will have 15 shitty Final Fantasy games to offset their shitty* decisions elsewhere.

Final Fantasy XV coming soon!

*I've said "shitty" a lot in this post.  This post was brought to you by the AVGN.  Remember him?

Being a big fan of stealth games, this is the first Thief game I've ever played.  I know the previous ones are probably a lot better, I also know that I could probably just replay Dishonored.  Fuck this game.

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Here is my part 1 of my Top 10 Games list with a GOOD stealth game

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Friday, February 13, 2015

3 Story Problems with Dragon Age:Inquisition

A major part of every Bioware game is it's story and narrative.  Dragon Age:Inquisition is no exception with an epic storyline with the fate of the world in your hands.   Of course, I have some thoughts on that, but I can't really talk about it without including some spoilers.  If you want to play the game and not have anything spoiled, skip this post.  If you have played the game, don't plan too, or just don't care if things get spoiled, click below to read.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Dragon Age:Inquisition REVIEW

Note:  This post will be as spoiler free as possible.  I want to write a second one just to talk about the narrative, why it poorly matches the gameplay, plus the overall story including the ending, so there will be spoilers in that one.  This is just about the basics.



I have always been lukewarm on Dragon Age despite playing all three.  I thought Dragon Age:Origins was a well written but flawed game.  I thought Dragon Age 2 was okay but weirdly paced and had awful characters.  Dragon Age:Inquisition, however, was the time for Dragon Age to shine....and it largely didn't.

DA:I picks up pretty quickly after the ending of DA2 (maybe a year later? I never understood the timeframe).  The Mage vs. Templar war has been raging.  Peace talks called the "Conclave" which included The Chantry's (this games worldwide church) Divine (Pope), was supposed to end it but it gets interrupted by an explosion killing everyone except your character.  He/she becomes known as the Herald of Andraste (Jesus) and acquires a magical hand print that lets he/she close rifts, including a big one called "The Breach", that are basically portals to "The Fade", where demons and spirits live AWW FUCK IT.

Your character is mysteriously given a magic power to close portals from hell.  Got it?  The Chantry doesn't believe you, so you break off and create the Inquisition and build an army to fight the demons coming through the portals.

Hell is Green.  Also, from the sky.

Speaking of characters, the supporting cast is MUCH improved over DA2.  Varric is back and he's my bro, but the game is short on DA2 characters (except for SPOILER).  Cassandra is back and shes still got a stick up her ass although she opens up later on.  New characters like Iron Bull and Sera are fun.  Even Solas, who I hated at first, gradually opens up.  The only bad character is Blackwall who Grey Warden, Grey Warden, have you guys ever Grey Wardened before?  Even his voice actor seems bored.

You also have three advisers.  They are hugely important to the story and two of them are new.  One is Cullen, the leader of your army, and another is Josephine, who is your ambassador and the dullest romance option I've taken in a Bioware game.  The other is Leliana your spymaster, who is from Dragon Age:Origins.  Interestingly, it's possible to kill Leliana in DA:O, except that she is a huge part of this game and Bioware explains this by not explaining it at all.  (I didn't kill her but that is the most phoned in explanation I have ever seen).

Your Spymaster is NOT a romance option because she's kind of a nun, spy, assassin...wait

The game itself takes place in several huge open world areas that are not interconnected.  Every place you unlock has a reason to go there too, usually regarding the enemy either holding the area, or invading it because they are looking for something.  This game justifies why you need to go into a new area.  Even after completing the main objective, there is several other good reasons for being there.  You can capture keeps, storm enemy strongholds, close...like...a lot of rifts.  And...side quests.

This game has a Kingdoms of Amalur:Reckoning number of side quests. In fact, the game is mostly side quest.  It's also the biggest flaw of this game, as far too many of these side quests are "go get this thing" or "go kill this guy" or "drop off this thing at another thing for a reward".  These side quests seem to have little or nothing to do with the main story.  Many of these have me questioning why I am doing these in the first place considering who my character is (See second post, coming soon).  The reward for most side quests is either XP, Power points which are used to unlock new areas but after the 1/3rd mark you will have more Power than you know what to do with, or "Influence" points.  Influence is, uh, I think like War Assets from Mass Effect 3?  I don't know.  I played 70 hours of this game and I don't know.

GORGEOUS SCENERY...what am I doing here again?

Another reward for side quests are loot, which are rendered meaningless once you get into the AWESOME crafting system.  It's introduced way too early in the game, when you can't craft shit, but it's fantastic a little later on.  Once you collect enough resources, as well as some runes, you can make some sweet ass gear.  One desert area has you looting some hard to get too Dwarven ruins.  I sold ALLLLL of it because the stuff I crafted was insanely better.  This is late game stuff too.  I played as a dual-wield rouge and crafted two daggers that were something a character 10 levels higher should wield.  I rocked them for the rest of the game.

Outside of Bioware characters and the open world/side quest quagmire, the 3rd major part of this game is the War Table.  It's the most unique part of this game and it's really cool...if not quite executed as well as it could have been.  For every War Table mission, you can assign one of your 3 advisers.  The problem is that the missions run in REAL TIME.  They range from 5 minutes to 40 HOURS!  I always tried to assign the long ones before I turned the game off that way they would be done when I booted up the game the next day or two.  The rewards are often terrible, just like the side quests, and some unlock more side quests just to piss me off a little more.

The War Table looks like it was built from a ski lodge in Aspen, Colorado.

That said, I still like the War Table.  It made the war seem far larger in scope than most RPG's can do.  You are often sending agents into parts of the world you never see in this game.  Sometimes the missions are in Kirkwall, the setting for Dragon Age 2.  Sometimes they are in Tevinter, Antiva, or Nevarra.  You never go to these places in the game (Almost all of it is in Orlais, some in Ferelden).  It just increases the scope and epicness of what you are doing.  Too bad the War Table liked to CRASH ON ME ALL THE GODDAMN TIME,

I would be remiss to not mention the CONSTANT stability problems I had with this game.  Texture pop-in was so bad I got weirdly used to it.  NPC's would randomly appear or disappear.  I thought it was just because I was playing on PS3 but a friend of mine had crashing problems on her Xbox One as well.  This game crashed on me 10 times, always during the auto-save (and no, you can't turn it off, I checked.  Not like that option would excuse this).  I've read reports that the PC version of this game is also buggy as hell and trying to control this game with a keyboard and mouse is like trying to perform surgery with chopsticks and hand grenades.  This is after 2 PATCHES too.  Is this going to be fixed?  I'm worried about Mass Effect "4".

That said, Dragon Age:Inquisition is an okay game.  Not great, not bad, just meh.  One of the major hallmarks of any Bioware game is choice, and it plays a key role here too.  No, not every choice matters as much but you know what?  That's life.  A choice you think is major may end up being minor, while a minor choice may end up being much larger than anticipated.  Bioware games, especially Mass Effect 3, often get ripped for player choice being unimportant in the long run and I think that is unfair.  Choices rarely go the way we expect....in my opinion.

Although....

If you include the open world nature of this game, then those choices are still bullshit.

Read my spoiler heavy PART 2 for more, coming soon.

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Monday, January 26, 2015

Jason's Top 10 Favorite Games, Part 2

Part 1 is here ya dig?

3.  Final Fantasy IX
RPG's, where you can steal things from plants.

While Final Fantasy VII is the popular choice, and Final Fantasy VI is the "correct" choice, it is Final Fantasy IX that I absolutely love.  It's the last Final Fantasy until re-inventing the series for every installment became a nervous tick for the developers at Square Enix.  It's a throwback to all the old school FF stuff I loved growing up.  And while yes, that did mean a plot that eventually boiled down to a magic rock, it also had charm, subtlety, and a goddamn sense of humor.

I love the characters in this game.  Many have long story arcs with actual character development.  They fucking change during the course of the game.  Granted not every character is great (Eiko is the token JRPG magical child mage, Quina is annoying comic relief, and Amarant, is uh, just sort of there), but the good ones are far better than the dead weight.  Zidane is the last good protagonist Final Fantasy has ever had.  Garnet is a sheltered princess who gradually opens up in a believable way.  Steiner is a noble knight who tries too hard NOT to be a buffoon.  Even Freya has some good parts early on.  But this one guy.....THIS ONE FUCKING GUY......


.....best Final Fantasy character ever. Vivi's story is one of identity issues and as someone playing this game at 17 years old, this guy was me!  He goes from a timid, nervous, friendless mage who learns what he is (yes, what), what he was created for, decides to defy that purpose, fight with his new found accepting friends, aaaaand his late game "Doomsday" spell is the most powerful attack in the game if you ignore the legendary weapons.  Vivi is arguably my favorite video game character of all time.  He even has a tragic ending that I'd rather not talk about because FEEEELS.  

This game held my #1 spot for a long time.  The battle system is classic, top-notch Final Fantasy.  The inventory system is great.  The music!  Shit!  I almost forgot about the music!  So many great themes.  The only reason it's not in my #1 anymore is because; 1. The top 2 are better, 2. The last 1/4th of this story gets stupid (Zidane is a clone from another planet who is also the angel of death or some shit), and 3. I still don't know who the final boss is supposed to be.  God maybe?

2.  Persona 4
Lazy demon fighting teenagers

Who would have thought that a 1/2 dungeon crawling, turn-based RPG and 1/2 life simulation game would be this damn good?  The combat is entertaining and very challenging.  Random encounter monsters can easily one hit kill you if you have the wrong Persona equipped.  Boss fights are a real struggle and even the early ones don't go down easy.  The life sim portion has realistic weight to its story.  Creating friendships effect your stats and improve your personas.  There is also an in canon explanation for WHY they effect your personas stats. They didn't just take the Final Fantasy approach of "not explaining anything ever."  This game is fucking brilliant.  

I wasn't completely blind to this game though because I played Persona 3 first and debated putting that game on this list too.  Persona 3 had some enraging flaws though and all I could think about after completing it was playing Persona 4.  Not only did P4 live up to the hype in my own head, it surpassed it and fixed every major flaw in P3.  I don't think I've ever seen a sequel do that in any entertainment medium.  The only thing that could come close is Robocop in the new Avengers movie.  (Please don't actually do that.  I was joking).

Centered around a murder mystery, the story of this game takes many twists and turns, all of which seem plausible and not completely out of left field (I'm looking at you Metal Gear Solid series).  You eventually have to decide who the murderer is and the game doesn't hold your hand about it.  You have to piece together the clues on your own and it's SO refreshing to see a game do this and do it well.  

The real heart of this game is the characters (noticing a theme here reader?).  Not one single character fits into a typical stereotype, except maybe Yosuke, but even he seems real.  Not only that, but every character has some sort of deep dark secret that you literally fight as a monster in a dungeon. This game is also very progressive in that it has an almost gay character and one of the only Trans characters I can remember in a video game.*  Even the character I thought I would hate going in, Teddie, grew on me and I admit to laughing at a couple of his stupid bear puns.  Oh and Chie is the best.  Just, just the best.

*I think ATLUS chickened out by not having Kanji actually be gay.  He just likes feminine things?  Okay fine, but he ALSO has a thing for Naoto and feels relieved when Naoto is revealed to be a girl.  Naoto is obviously Trans but the game never outright says it.  However, it's really cool that Naoto feels more comfortable acting and dressing like a boy despite being born a girl.  HE is accepted for this and is treated like no big deal after the Persona battle.  Story-wise, I can excuse ATLUS for not making more of a statement since these are both high school teenage characters that might not fully understand who they are. I just thought I should clarify.    

Side note:  This game has the best boss battle theme of all time, especially 20 seconds in.

1.  Mass Effect 2

"Good choice.  Yes.  Would not recommend Mass Effect 3.  Outcome, problematic."

Obviously.  I echo AJ's words but I want to elaborate on two points.

1.  The Characters

YES.  I am aware that almost every loyalty mission boils down to "daddy issues", either figurative (Tali, Grunt and arguably Garrus), metaphorical (Jack and Samara), or literal in THREE cases (Jacob, Miranda and Thane).  I don't care.  Legion and Mordin's don't, so it's moot.

I am also aware that some keyhole into stereotypes, mainly Garrus, Grunt, Jack and "Every Man" Jacob.  Mayyyyyyybe Miranda.   But again I don't care.

These are some of the most actualized characters I've ever seen and a big reason why I LOVE this game.  Even the stereotypes feel real.  Familiar faces from Mass Effect like Garrus and Tali feel like they've grown (Liara too even though she doesn't join the Normandy).  New characters are interesting including Legion, in which I NEVER would have thought a geth would join the crew.  

But nobody is as cool as Mordin.  Granted, his best and worst moment comes in Mass Effect 3 (RIP), but he is really the only character to fight back against Shepard.  During his loyalty mission, if you start questioning him on his work with the genophage, he actually fights back!  This is the first time in a game I've ever been worried about losing a squad mate because we had a philosophical difference.  Out of any character in the series, Mordin is the only one who NEVER shows a sense of awe from being in the presence of Shepard.  

2.  The Suicide Mission

Hands down the best final level in video game history.  Nothing else even comes close.  Video game lives are at stake!  I was soooo worried about losing somebody I obsessively improved everything I could and spent at least 15 minutes deciding what tech expert to send in the vent, who to lead the 2nd team, and who to hold the biotic field.  The mission has perfect fusion between gameplay and cutscenes too.  Oh...and the music is awesome.  

I could write an entire article on why The Suicide Mission is so great...so I'll probably do that sometime.

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See AJ's Top 10 Favorite Games here, which are far better than mine.